People Are Sharing Stories of the Craziest Thing They Got Away With in School

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1. “Physics Club”

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OK, I've posted this before under a different thread, but it really fits here:

When I was in high-school my friends and I decided to start a "Physics Club" with the express purpose of turning it into a secret club with initiation rights, a hierarchy of rank, and all sorts of ulterior motives. Basically a "Secret Society" of high school science geeks.

We got a teacher sponsor, and held doughnut sales as often as we were allowed to. During our official meetings at lunch hour we talked about math and physics. After school: We spent our doughnut money. We bought powdered aluminum and iron oxide, and made thermite devices wrapped in aluminum foil, which we would set off on the football field at night.

Now, thermite requires higher temperatures than can be provided by a pocket lighter to start the reaction, so at first we used blow torches. Later, we discovered (by experiment) that magnesium burned hot enough to start the thermite reaction, and candle sparklers burned hot enough to ignite the magnesium.

So we added 10% powdered magnesium to our thermite mixture, plus a little pocket of magnesium at the top of the device. We also triple wrapped the aluminum foil to add extra structural integrity. Jam a candle sparkler in it: You have a portable, throw-able, easily-ignitable thermite grenade.

Our teacher sponsor got wise when she caught my friend with a blow torch in his locker (He may have been igniting it in the hallways, he was a bit weird) and asked us what we were doing. Woops. We insisted it was just a physics experiment, and she asked us to show her. So we did: In the parking lot behind the school.

We picked an especially big one to demonstrate with, too. About the size of a grapefruit. It was a good'un. The reaction was so loud and bright that it attracted a crowd. When the reaction finally fizzled out, all that was left was a pool of viscous, glowing, molten iron - imbedded 3 inches into the concrete. Thank god it wasn't asphalt, we probably would have ignited the tar and set the road on fire.

Our teacher sponsor was horrified, and that was the end of "physics club" - they even made us give the doughnut money back.

...or so everyone thought. Naturally, we'd been cooking the books (by inflating our wholesale doughnut costs), so most of our profit was unaccounted for. We soldiered on, but for the moment, thermite was out.

Our next project was nitroglycerin. Only the deeply initiated got to be a part of this one. We did our research, bought our tools and supplies, and set up a portable lab in the trunk of my friend's car. Two of our members used fake IDs to buy the fuming nitric and sulfuric acids from a chemical supply store.

As it turned out, our nitric acid acid wasn't pure enough to really get the job done. It was quite concentrated, but not quite concentrated enough. It's a good thing, too, because I discovered years later that the method we used would more than likely have resulted in someone losing a hand or an eye, or worse - due to our lack of an efficient cooling system. (We were using a very primitive ice bath...)

Our final enterprise involved constructing a cold fusion reactor. This one never got off the ground, unfortunately. We got red-flagged by the RCMP and the Atomic Energy Control Board trying to acquire deuterium and heavy water. The school shut us down after that, and threatened us with dire consequences if we continued. That was basically the end of it. We spent the rest of the club's money on booze and had a blow-out end-of-the-year party where we got shit-faced drunk in a park and shot roman candles at one another.

This all took place less than one year after 9/11, in Canada. We were all white, this was at the "best" high school in the city, and we were all in the International Baccalaureate program. No one got in trouble with the law, or even got expelled. One of my friends was suspended after phoning a school board rep to complain about the club being shut down. That was it. That was "Physics Club".

It still blows my mind that we were ever that reckless, or that we didn't get in any real trouble over the shenanigans we pulled. I guess it's probably because we were nerdy white kids at a rich public school.

One of our members ended up going to Harvard. Another is currently doing doctoral research on modeling the visual distortions created by black holes. Another is doing graduate work in history.

I wonder what would have happened if they decided to treat us like potential terrorists or, you know, black people...

Username: [deleted]
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2. Pokemon Card Rescue

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First, we'll have to go back about 9 years, to the year 2003-2004. I was a little blonde boy in the fourth grade, which is about 9-10 years old for those not familiar with the american school system. I was in a program known as C.A.T.S(center of academically talented students) which would substitute another elective subject(computers, office aid, music, art, etc). In this program we were a class of about 30 students that studied math and science seperate from the rest of the students in our grade.

We would teach in a different class which was quite big and wasn't your typical classroom. It was huge and had round tables instead of normal rows, and at the very back of the room had a small area with a few boxes and a bed(for some reason, not entirely sure). Anyways, our science teacher was a lady known as Ms.Savage, she was about 65-70 at the time and had already been teaching at our school for 30 years or so.

One day in class, me and my two best friends witnessed our teacher, who we thought was a witch, take a few pokemon cards from someone else in the class. At the end of the class, we noticed she went to the back of the room with them and noticed she put them away in a box that was under the bed.

That afternoon, we we chilling at one of my best friend's tree houses and we were planning an unarmed revolution on the school, to take back what was ours(really our classmate's, but that's beside the point). So at about 4 P.M we set off towards the scool(my friend literally lived across the street from the school). It was me, another little blonde boy who was my twin brother, and two of my best friends. Operation Card Rescue had started.

We got into the school fairly easily(there was an after school program with a few different classes and custodians cleaned all the classes after school). Remember this was quite a few years ago, so not the kind of security there is everywhere nowadays. We had all taken our empty backpacks just in they were necessary, and boy were they necessary.

We got to the classroom, me and one of my friends went towards the bed, my brother stayed outside, and another friend was covering the door that led to the hallway the classroom was in. The plan was to see what was in that box and if caught by a custodian(only real threat), we would say we were looking for a pencilcase or whatever. We were 9-10 year old kids, so no real threat.

Once we got to the bed, we were fascinated by what was under it. We found a box, which was about 4x3x2 feet, full of trading cards of all kinds. Estimating, I'd say there were 100 or so Magic cards, 500-1k(estimate) Yu-gi-Oh cards, 200 Pokemon cards and about 200-300 Marvel Cards. So, what do me and my friend do?

Well, in the name of justice and about 20-30 years of student's cards being taken by this teacher, we start shoveling cards into our backpacks with our arms. Just straight up shoveling. We pretty much fill our bags and my friend swapped places with my brother who was outside the room. We only left a few Magic/Yu-gi-oh cards in the box, but left with over 1,000 trading cards of all types.

We evactued the school grounds and ran towards my friend's tree house. We then evenly split the cards there, me and my brother shared a collection of Pokemon cards, so we kept all of those. We split the Yu-gi-oh cards between the three of us, although my brother and my stacks were then combined. The fourth friend that was with us left to his house mid-operation because he was scared we would get caught, so he got nothing.

We then started looking through the Marvel cards, which were cards from the FUCKING 90's, and we were amazed. They were in a really good condition and has plastic covers and everything, and they were cool as hell. We had pretty much EVERY single superhero and some were holographic and all that shit.

I saved my Pokemon card collection up to this day, have a lot of them in binders and organized, up to the 3rd generation which is when I stopped. As for the yu-gi-oh cards, never really learned the actual game, so I just have like 1k of those in a bag somewhere. I have all the marvel cards in stack and I'm actually looking into selling them, as they're about 20-25 years old right now and I think they can all amass a pretty good sum of money. Will look into it.

EDIT: Yes, I know this is straight up stealing and is illegal. But whatever, the teacher confiscated everything from her students and never game anything back, so I think it's fair. And no, we were never caught.

Username: Nolskog
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3. 60MG of Ambien

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I was a junior in high school and woke up feeling under the weather, so I asked my grandmother for some Aleve. She brought me two, I took them, and drove to school, which was a five minute drive. Forty five blacked out minutes later, I walk in to my first period 30 minutes late, and am horrified to find a massive fake spider web in the doorway, fake spiders and all. I make a huge scene as I tear it down. I then calmly walk to my desk, have a seat and obnoxiously ask the guy next to me what I'd missed. I'm feeling pretty off right now, but couldn't quite tell what it was -- Was I getting really sick or something?

Before I could even comprehend that it was a lab day, everyone was already in groups and working. I don't remember the details, but we were mixing chemicals with an eye dropper, onto a grid/table, like in battleship, so essentially we mixed chemical A with chemical 1-12, chemical B with 1-12, etc.

Me, though... Nope. Fuck that eye dropper. I sat down in a group that hadn't done much, opened two bottles and poured that shit together. Apparently that mixture caused a burn... Straight through the table we were at.

*black out until the last 5 minutes of class*

I notice there is a paper we needed to fill out while doing the lab. I very loudly proclaim "Wait, there's a paper? SHIT, I need to copy you." and continued to repeat that I needed to copy off of some dude, all while the teacher stared at me.

I leave the classroom, bump into (literally) some friends in the hall, who tell me that I am very clearly extremely fucked up. I explained that I felt sick, which made the two stoner girls I was talking to laugh.

I start stumbling down into a different hallway to get to my second class. Apparently I very passionately hug a teacher (To this day I still don't know who it was...), was falling over onto lockers... I basically looked like I was completely shitfaced.

I walk into my english room which was at the end of the fucking hall, and the police liaison officer grabbed me by my backpack, and asked "Where are you going, buddy?"

And in the most slurred voice your mind can read this in, I say "I'm... I'm going to ENGLISH!", to which the officer simply said "Nope. No you're not." and escorted me to the principals office.

They ask me what I took. I said Aleve. They ask what I took before the Aleve. Nothing. After the Aleve? Nothing. WITH the Aleve? Nothing!

They ask if I have any drugs in my backpack, to which I had to confess I did in fact have an advil in a tin container. Unfortunately, I did not have an advil. I had a tin container that had the inside coated with a white powder (Just shit that had rubbed off from other pills in it).... But that's not quite what it looked like.

They read through my notes and see that I mentioned a caffeine pill to a friend. When they asked if I had taken caffeine pills, I scoffed and slurred "DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I'D BE LIKE THIS FROM A CAFFEINE PILL?" which must have made sense to them, because they dropped it.

They call my grandmother, and she's appalled that her young, well-behaved grandson is higher than a giraffes vagina *while in school*. She says she'll be over to pick me up in a few minutes.

Five minutes later, my grandma calls back. She had just returned from Italy, and carries a large pill box filled with a fucking at-home pharmacy. Painkillers? Got it. Even the good ones. Anxiety? This Valium will fix that right up. Depressed? Take this shit for a while. Allergies? Here, try these. You name it, she's got it. Fucking old people.

She realised that during her flight, one of the separating walls in the pill box had broken, mixing painkillers with sleeping pills. Aleve is an oval blue pill that says "Aleve" on the pill. Ambien 30mg XR is the same size, shape and colour, and has an "A" on it... Easy mistake, I guess, but I'll be damned if I don't google the shit out of any pill she gives me now.

So my 16 year old self had taken 60 fucking mgs of Ambien XR, and gone to school. She got there, explained it all away, saving my ass totally. They took the handcuffs off of me, and let me stumble out of the room and fall into her car. I slept for nearly 20 hours.

Username: [deleted]
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4. Never Expelled

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Let me preface this by saying that I was an *awful* student, Im aware of that.

Got in a fight sophomore year. The kid insulted in me without realizing I was right next to him. It wasn't that much of a fight. I hit him hard in the side and then again in the back when turned around to protect himself. The class laughed at him. Nobody liked him really... I feel bad that I made it harder for him to fit in. The teacher was out when it happened and he was too ashamed to say anything.

I made fake IDs. It's not as bad as it sounds... They were mostly jokes or for people who didn't like their photo. We had to wear a school ID around our necks at all times. I made joke ones with celebrities for some people, others wanted a band, some people wanted a better picture. I spent awhile making a template that had all the basics just right then moved on to the rest. All I had to add was add barcode (used to pay for lunch in the cafeteria line), a name, and a photo.

I found a barcode generator online and our school put the numerical code under the barcode so after a few minutes I found the code type the school was using. I never used the codes to spend other people's money or anything like that. I was technically caught for this one, but my punishment was WAY less severe than the school code dictated.

I should have been expelled on the spot, but I managed to gather up the IDs from other students before they could find enough (they found my friend who had one) to make a serious allegation.

Another fight... This time there was a substitute and we broke up when she put herself between us which was a daring move for a woman pushing 70. My fist was in line to hit the other kid in the jaw, but I saw her coming and pulled the punch at the last second to not hit her. I think because she was a substitute and a fight would look badly one her, we broke it up before anything worse than some bruises came out of it, and her generation viewed fighting less seriously (I think...?) she never reported it.

My junior year, a freshman thought it would be cute to try and pick on the older kids. He was probably about 4 inches shorter than me, 40 lbs lighter (I was 175ish and he was a skinny skater kid wannabe with zero muscle) and thought he could try to look cool by messing with me thinking I wasn't willing to do anything back. He was wrong. I let it slide for about a week. After getting my lunch, I came back to find my bag open with his trash in it. All my friend were exchanging looks. One of them was trying to convince the kid to take the trash out of my bag (this friend knew I wouldn't let it slide this time). I figured out something was up before I made it to the table. The kid had a shit eating grin on his face. I sat down before I realized exactly what was going on.

I looked the kid dead in the eyes then stood up. The smile dropped from his face instantly and he bolted for the door. I caught up to him easily and grabbed him by his bag thinking I would pull him back into a fight. As soon as I stopped him, he got the bag off (still in my hand) and ran out of the cafeteria. I figured he wouldn't try to act cool by annoying me after being chased out of the cafeteria.

I took his bag and dumped it's contents into the trash can then dropped the bag in there. He got his stuff after lunch I assume. He skipped lunch for a week and got deathly silent anytime I was with 10 feet of him after that. Normally one of the Assistant Principals would have been in the cafeteria to watch things, but he was occupied with something else I guess... Idk

This one is less bad, but if you forgot your ID you had to get a temporary one (sticker w/ your name, the date, and a different color depending on the day of the week). You had to pay 50 cents to get one. I hated wearing my ID. It hung around your neck on lanyard.

It was annoying, bounced around, and sucked in general. One week, I had a plan. I got a temporary every day of the week for one week. After using it, I would put it on a binder and hang onto it. I kept rotating them. I would use the one from last week and fix the date on it.

I managed to clean off the sharpie mostly then used a black dry erase marker to change the dates after that.

Username: LostAtFrontOfLine
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5. Kiddie Pools and Handles of Vodka

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Throwaway because they're still trying to solve this at my alma mater.

Long story short, at some point during my early time at design school, we figured out our studio building was condemned. They shouldn't have told us this, because it led to us doing things like running and embedding shop stools into the walls and sawing large chunks out of things. Once we knew the building was going down, any inspiration to be careful and respectful completely evaporated. The professors didn't really care either, so that didn't help.

The building was an old, mostly concrete and drywall construction, used as part of an old stadium back when they were just huge concrete steps. Probably saw use back in the 50s before we had our larger venues built. It only saw use as overflow classrooms when we were there, so large sections of it seemed to be forgotten and in disrepair.

A friend of mine somehow procured a floor plan of the building. After doing some investigating, he figured out there was a long hallway one floor underneath all of the class activity that opened up into to a couple fairly wide, long rooms. It was hidden behind a gigantic spool of decades-old wire, a chain link fence with an old padlock, and a completely dark length of concrete hallway navigable only by following the pipes on the wall. It was so long that the exit looked like a postage stamp at arm's length behind you, with no lights along the way.

I still remember the wreckage back there. If you stood still and watched the dust in the air around your flashlight, you'd swear you were scuba diving at night.

At the end of this hallway were the huge rooms; it had been so long since the last time anyone was down there that we found a large, 64 oz. glass Pepsi bottle labeled "The Boss." The room (about 25 feet wide and maybe a hundred or so feet long) was peppered with bits of old construction, bolts, nails, stuff like that. A couple hanging overhead lights provided bleak, fluorescent light. If you arranged things right (moved the spool around, etc.) you couldn't see us in there with the lights on. The acoustics were such that you couldn't hear if someone was shouting in there from the outside.

After dragging a couple industrial fans down there, painting over the lights, and dusting everything out, we organized a party. A couple kiddie pools and handles of vodka later, we had maybe 200 people in these rooms raging their asses off during finals week. The architects upstairs working on their final projects had no idea why a stream of drunk, underage design kids was vanishing into the guts of the building.

I wandered out during the party and the rest of the building had no idea there was a party pulsing literally 10 feet underneath them. If you didn't know where it was, it was actually pretty hard to tell what was going on. No sound made it out of that narrow hallway, and we'd arranged the spool and some other trash so that no light came out, either.

That was probably why they were so surprised to find that a drunk kid had meandered out of the party, found long sections of rebar, and thrown them through one of the walls upstairs, destroying some of the architects' projects. Oops. I didn't want to stick around for questions, so I ducked out of the building. It was then that I saw a couple cops parked right outside where the party was, separated by about 3-5 feet of concrete bleachers. Oblivious.

Anyway, the next day I heard people in my non-design classes talking about the party, claiming that some of the design kids got over a hundred people smashed on campus, right under security's noses. Word traveled fast. Campus police were looking for whoever arranged it, because someone had destroyed all the fire alarms in the building and smoked throughout the studios. I think the dean of design's final take on it was "leave them alone, they were just having fun."

So yeah, that's probably the most insane thing we got away with while in school. A massive, literally underground party on campus during finals week with tons of underage drinking, and some artistic collateral damage.

Username: EarthquakeParty
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6. Tripping on Quiz Show

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In the ninth grade, our science class used to occasionally have trivia rounds near the end of the class. One of my few applicable skills is just knowing loads of useless trivia, so my table usually won. My science teacher mentioned that there was a radio quiz-off of some kind called 'Smart Ask' which featured three grade nine kids handpicked from each school for their trivia prowess that competed against other schools in the district and eventually went to some kind of championship or something; she asked me to be one of the three, so I agreed.

Maybe she mentioned what day we were going to be called down, I don't know, I can't remember.

I did a lot of drugs in high school. This particular day I'd eaten over an eighth of mushrooms (for whatever reason) before smoking hash with a couple of the other burnouts and was lurking in the mezzanine of the art room watching patterns move around the walls with a couple people when I heard the loudspeaker boom out "HORRIBLE_FLAMINGOS, COME TO THE OFFICE, HORRIBLE_FLAMINGOS, COME TO THE OFFICE, YOUR MOM IS WAITING FOR YOU."

A deep, paralyzing fear seized my body as my brain filled with ice and my friends cackled with glee. Arriving at the office, I realized it was my science teacher (Asian last name that sounded like 'mom' when distorted over the loudspeaker) who was waiting for me, and that we would be getting in a van and heading off for our competition now oh yes.

The entire ride there, I was in cold sweats. Everything was too close, too patterned, too loud, and too cartoony. I constantly felt like I was moving in slow motion, and the contrast was turned up far too sharply. It got worse as we parked and stepped out towards the building.

When they shooed us into the DJ booth or recording room or whatever it was, the first thing I noticed was that one of the kids on the other team looked EXACTLY like Jack Osbourne. This distracted me, and I stared at him blankly. Inanimate objects gently waved and undulated in the background, glowing chunks of metal suspended in a lunar sea. Then the questions began.

The first question, after our names, was, "So, what did you have for breakfast?" For some reason I drew a blank and panicked. When they got to me, I mumbled something about fruit. "...Can you specify what kind of fruit?" "*No*" I whispered, aghast. Mushrooms are awful for any kind of activity involving interrogations by strangers. I feel it worth mentioning that I wore prescription sunglasses all the time back then; I was cool like that. At least my pupils were hidden. They had to realize something was wrong, though. Couldn't they see how tense and jittery I was? Couldn't they smell the hash smoke on my clothes?

It got worse. Our buzzers each made uniquely exaggerated, cartoonish sounds; ours went 'BOOOIIIII-III-III-III-IIINNG' and theirs was something like an incredibly drawn out slide whistle. It was distracting. My teammates were kind of stupid, and the drugs made me even worse.

If you buzzed first, you got to answer first. If you got a question wrong, the other team got an automatic try at it. I recall one question had an answer that I knew, but my hands felt like they were moving in slow motion, and pressing the buzzer was a genuinely horrifying experience.

A teammate buzzed and triumphantly shouted "TOM SAWYER!" knowing this was wrong, I turned to him, semi-catatonic, with dead, blank eyes and hissed "No. *No. It was Huckleberry Finn*." Jack Osbourne's clone squirmed with discomfort. You weren't supposed to behave that way; any fool could see it.

Anyway, this went on for a while and we eventually lost. I was relieved. We got in the van and went back to my high school and I promptly found the people I'd been with before the whole horrible ordeal and went off to do more drugs. I never got asked to participate again.

Username: HORRIBLE_FLAMINGOS
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7. Christmas Carol Onslaught

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Many things, I think my biggest "Got Away With It" was when I was throwing nuts and bolts at the teachers and Principal during their performance of "A Christmas Carol". It was pitch dark and I was throwing left handed curves at a teacher who was playing the ghost of christmas past, I hit him probably 3 times judging by his reaction.

I waited a while and the Principal was in the spotlight giving his Ebeneezer redemption speech and I hit him between the eyes with a nut causing him to scream "MOTHER FUCKER!" into the microphone. He grabbed his head and screamed to turn on the lights. He looked out and allowed people in certain sections(Including mine) to leave because the he thought the throw had come from the middle.

I threw the rest of my nuts/bolts under the bleachers in the chaos and left into the commons area after being searched. He was convinced it was a BB gun or a slingshot. I had been sitting on the top row corner of the bleachers and only one person knew I was throwing stuff.

It was the last day before Christmas Break and nothing was said when we resumed classes in January. I only list this because it was a big deal that the Principal screamed "Mother Fucker".

My biggest thing was I prepared and served a teacher a brownie made of ex lax and dog shit. Bitch said I was cheating, I wasn't. She gave me bad grades regardless of my work so I got a cheap bag of brownie mix, expired margarine and a rusted dirt-filled pan to make her a dog shit brownie. I added sugar, ex lax, extra chocolate morsels and baked the damn thing in my sister's old play oven in the back yard that was made of bricks.

The brownies smelled so damn good when I pulled them out and cut them into two brownies. I wrapped them very neatly, placed them on her desk the next day without anyone noticing. She ate them sometime during lunch and in 5th Period Home Economics, I saw her running down the hallway holding her skirt to her butt and her other hand over her mouth.

One of the teachers followed her to check on her and he came down the hall to get the janitor. She was shitting and vomiting at the same time. She went home for the day and didn't come back for 2 days. No one knew I did it and it was never mentioned. She also never ate another thing that a student brought her.

This was not my only shit related prank. In my senior year one of my classmates died. I'd been friends with him for my entire life. There was an asshole teacher that said "Good Riddance" and other shit and he used his loud dot matrix printer during the school's moment of silence. He kept running his mouth about him all day so as a memorial for my friend, I played a simple revenge prank.

I gathered a ziploc bag full of dog shit, placed that bag inside several other bags and brought it to school the next morning. I smashed shit all over inside his desk, in the drawers, in his grade book and on his case. At lunch I smashed shit into the door handle to his classroom, all over his car, including smashing it into the air intake for the AC, the door handles, the trunk and two large piles of shit under his wiper blades.

He continued finding shit the rest of the year but the best part was when we watched him and his new wife(a 21 year old teacher, he was 50) run out in the rain to his car the day I shit pranked him. He got wet shit all over his hand when he opened the door and jumped in the car.

He turned on the car to clear the fog on the windshield and shit stink poured into their faces and he turned the wipers so shit was smearing all over his windshield.

His wife jumped out screaming "There's shit everywhere!" He got out to get paper towels out of the trunk and got another handful of shit. Only two people knew I did it but the entire bus was laughing at it so I got away with that one too. Still, one of my favorite all time revenge pranks that didn't result in people getting injured or the police called.

Username: [deleted]
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8. Smoked Socket

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I blew up a light socket in the middle of french II my sophomore year(i think..maybe junior). DO NOT TRY TO REPLICATE THIS PLZ K THX.

To keep it short we had time in class that day after finishing our workbooks(or not doing them, could have been either). I heard one kid say that if you put two pieces of gum wrapper in a light socket and flick them together you can get the lights to dim.

I call bullshit since i have a very small understanding of electric wiring and such and start arguing(i figure wrappers won't carry a current and that even if they could the breakers would flip before something like that would happen). 20 min later we've got free time and are breaking out the gum wrappers.

Now my dad has a story about sticking a key in a light socket at a young age and getting a zap, so i assumed if they conducted current at all that you couldn't get two in without getting buzzed. I put one and then the other in the socket(after folding) and started trying to flick them together. No matter how i flicked them one would fall out before making contact with the other.

However while putting one back in I accidentally touched both at once and felt the jolt run up my arm. "Holy shit, they actually conduct current" was my first thought, followed shortly by me telling one kid to touch it with one arm(was at least smart enough to warn him not to put one hand on each...not sure that would've mattered, but one should be careful in their extremely stupid escapades).

I guess i should mention that we're towards the back of the room(about 5-10 of us) in a group like we normally are when we chat after finishing/skipping work, and the teacher is at his desk up front not really paying attention.

So anyways at this point I think "wow there's actual current" and REALLY try to get them to touch without falling out, but it's just not working. I spend awhile doing this as people mostly lose interest, so it's just me and my close friend there messing with it.

Finally I have a brilliant(re:stupid) idea. Why not just fold a 3rd gum wrapper and drop it on top! Now I'm not knowledgeable about electronics or wiring, but I know enough even back then to KNOW this isn't smart, but i'm not currently thinking about that, i'm thinking about SCIENCE(note, not actually science).

3rd gum wrapper is made, dropped, and then BOOM. There's a VERY large spark(i'd swear a couple of inches in diameter), the 3rd gum wrapper shoots to the ceiling and falls back down, I instantly pull out the two remaining wrappers(one by one) and shove them in my pocket after catching the 3rd. It smells like smoke and the socket is scorched and just after that the bell rings. The ENTIRE rest of the class is on the other side of the room starring at us, and the teacher points at me and my friend and says "You two! STAY!".

In the end i didn't have any trouble other than a short talk with the aforementioned teacher. He didn't want to send us to the dean(although i mentioned that I did everything and my friend had nothing to do with it) simply because we'd always been good kids even if poor workers, and he was worried they might overreact and expel us(although i'm not sure he knew what we did). To this day the teachers who were around at that time know the story. When i looked at the wrappers I realized the only reason it hadn't been worse was because the foil had vaporized at the contact points between the 3 wrappers.

THE VERY NEXT CLASS is chemistry. We have some spare time at the end of class, and one of the kids who was in French 2 with me decides to do some 2 person fireball thing with a lighter and lights both his own hand and his friends on fire briefly for a few seconds. The teacher never noticed.

Interesting year. The socket never worked again(i've been back. I believe it's still scorched).

Username: Eji1700
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9. Party at the Hobbit Hole

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There was this hatch buried in the ground and during some construction at my school it was unearthed. Everyone called it the hobbit hole and me and my friends decided we were going to check it out one day.

So one weekend 3 of my friends and I actually get together and make our way to the school and make our way in. It was pretty cool, it was full of pipes and you could go under just about every hallway except one. So we explore most of it and find some blueprints and other papers which we took. On our way out we find another hatch leading up into one of the hallways.

We open the hatch about 3 inches and hear a voice say "hello? Is there someone there?". We lower the hatch slowly while this guy just above us is still calling out to try to figure out where he's heard a noise or something.

He finally opens the door to what we later figured out was a utility closet next to one of the girls bathrooms and goes for the hatch, we drop it and start booking and we never heard anything about it afterwards. Maybe not that crazy but it reminded us of the spinter cell games just from the guys reaction.

Or there was the time me and my buddies were skating the stairs outside the school and realized that the front doors were open on a weekend. We go in and start skating around the halls and everything until we pass in front of the offices. I'm not sure if I was paying more attention or just got lucky, but I heard a faint beeping noise and told the others.

We realized this was an alarm and dipped outside where my friends decided to skate home. I had already set up a ride home with my grandparents so I decide to wait on the other side of the parking lot in case the cops show up so I don't just look automatically suspicious. Well a cop does show up and there had been a couple sitting outside the school for some reason and had seen us both enter and come out.

I was freaking out thinking that they were going to tell on me, and the cop starts walking over to me. He comes over and asks if I saw anyone go in the school or come out, I said "no, but I've only been here a few minutes and I'm just waiting for a ride".

My grandmother pulls up and as I'm walking to get in the car I can see the guy in front of the school flash me a thumbs up, I smiled his way, the cop shrugged and got in his car, I got in my grandmothers car and we drive away with the cop none the wiser.

I can't believe I almost forgot the best one. Anyway, I didn't really try very hard in school. I never really did homework and only did enough to just sort of get by. So my senior year the choir was invited to go on the spring band trip to florida and compete in national competitions. I didn't have the GPA to be eligible to go and my family didn't really have the money to send me anyway.

So fast forward a month or two and I somehow convinced my family to let me go about 1 day before the trip was supposed to leave. I talk with the band director and my choir teacher and tell them that the only reason I didn't sign up before was because I didn't have the money. They let me go and it was a blast and all my friends thought it was pretty awesome I conned my way onto the trip.

After we get back my teacher learned I wasn't really eligible to go and confronts me about it. The only thing I could say was "Well, yea I didn't tell you because I knew if you found out I wouldn't be allowed to go". She just kind of stared at me in disbelief and I walked away. Nothing else was ever said about it and I got invited to her house for a fancy dinner with the rest of the chamber choir at the end of the year.

Username: Morgan7834
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10. Semi-Pro

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Last day of junior year, and last year at the "big" highschool. I was a notorious pot smoker, and dealer. I was a freshmen who had access to the family business, some real good fellas type shit. All the herb I tried to peddle was of the highest quality. So me being so ballsy, I carried an 8th on me throughout the year, becasue you never know when you will make twenty bucks. It was a cat and mouse game, the school "narcs" as we so lovingly referred to them would occasionally accompany APD with the drug dogs. Probably to train them, but that never stopped me.

Anyways I kept dog food and a collar in my backpack to throw the bastards off. So last day of school and I am making time with two lovely ladies. All of a sudden, the brother of super narc calls me out of class. Here is some background, supernarc was a cocksucker. His brother was freaking awesome, a vietnam vet and totally chill.

He called me out of class, me being relatively close to the man, he trusts me, and proceeds to lead me to the deans office. From here it can go two ways, just bullshit or to search me. I take no chances, and dump 3 and half grams off the third story of the big "D" building. HAHAHAH no one ever suspects the butterfly. As we get to the ground level, two additional narcs accompany me to the office.

A big dark man who smoked (guess how i knew) and a semi-pro fighter names NITRO. BIG MUTHERFUCKERS who I got along with, they asked me what the hell did I do to warrant such an escort, me being the legendary smartass I am. I say, "theyre (the dean) probably wants to lick my ass one last time".

Good laugh with the guys, as they obviously know the situation. So the golf cart pulls up to the glass doors that I knew so intimately..... As im inside the dean, sees me her old wise reptillian face turn into a shit eating grin.

Seats are taken and the first words out her mouth are, "your fucking luck I dont have APD here". I replied to the line of somthing like this "why would they hassle such a marvelous outstanding student, im just a boy"

This enraged the old lady, whose face now resembled a tomato left in the bottom of the fridge for too long. This angered her to no extent, and after a quick order on the radio, had the big guys enter the office. My ass puckered up, because I knew these guys knew I smoked.

They said nothing, I said nothing. After searching me, my socks, my binder and locker, NOTHING!! just a wad of cash I earned from painting... of course the old cunt accused me of selling dope. Having my attention she so viciously says to me my so called "friends" dropped a dime. (friends ment some goofball dildo guy i played football with) To witch i reply, "A dime you say, i only deal in quarters".

Apparently the ol' hell hound knows weight mesurment, and says that i am fucked because the cops are going to build a case on me. I know shes full of shit, because CA cops dont care about highschool fucks making a few bucks.

After what seemed the underground bar scene in inglorious bastards, this bitch let me go. And upon exiting the campus, i was greeted by the principle. To which he said, if i see you hanging around here, i will have you arrested..... Fuck em, I have capitol waiting on the ground for me, and I must get it back.

This is where playing splinter cell and gears of war helped me out. I chainsawed the mutherfucker ahahah. Ill write the exciting conclusion when I feel like it. Hope reddit enjoyed this. :)

Username: baby_your_no_good
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11. Even Impressed the Teachers

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Okay so one day while I was at school I said to myself, I really don't want to go to IT right now so I went to a different lesson. This class was Geography.

So as I walked to "my next lesson" I met up with some friends who were actually going to Geography and I casually walked inside with them acting like I belonged there... And it worked.
So as I sit down and start to work, the teacher begins the register and me being the fool I am I answered yes to numerous names that she called out (DW I knew the people were present in the class when I said yes to them there).

Now that she's stopped doing the register she's able to start helping people with their work, so then one of the pupils behind me asks her for some help on their work, lets call him Daniel, so she walks down to help him with his work and as she's starting to help him, she asks him a question on it and he was unable to answer, so I decided to test the boundaries of this teacher and see how long it would take her to catch on that I wasn't a real pupil in her class; I then answer the question she had asked him.

She starts speaking to me about the subject and we and literally both conversing to each other about Geography and she was none of the wiser, my friends are in hysterics, silently laughing as I talk to their teacher without her knowing I'm not a real student in her class.

As we're speaking one of my other friends in the class says to her "Miss, do you know who this is?" she then realises that she doesn't know my name or who I am for that matter.

It was just gravy at the time, considering that I'm a fairly well known student throughout my school, for good and bad reasons, so this is quite a shock to me that she has no clue who I am.

I quickly muster up some crazy story and tell her that I'm a new student at the school and my name's Jake Keith Long.

She then starts to interrogate me for the remainder of the lesson, asking what school I came from and where I was from. All of that deliciousness.

I tell her that I just moved here from another school nearby but the best part, is what I'm about to tell you now, this is what makes the story so great, I tell her I'm from California and that I moved her when I was little and as I said the word "California" I can see her eyes light up; she then started asking me what it was like and that I must have felt some of the earthquakes there or something like that but I told her that I had moved to where I am now when I was little and it was how I don't have an American accent too.

It was one of the greatest and only lesson of Geography I have ever had while in that year of school. I still cannot believe I fooled her into thinking I was an American, called Jake Keith Long.

Another great thing about what happened is that my real teacher, my IT teacher sent an Email out to every person in the school to keep an eye out for me since I was truanting and she had read it while I was in the class but since she had no idea who I was or what I looked like I was able to pull it off!

I got off scott-free by talking my out of any punishment they gave me and also because the teachers thought it was hilarious that I was able t do it.

Username: [deleted]
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12. iPad Rescue Misson

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Hold on this will be a long one. I used lock picks to break into my high-school's band room. My objective was to use my school issued ipad to connect to the school's speaker PA system and play silly music through it. I succeeded in connecting it but could not hear "Never Gonna give you up" (I know it wasn't the best song choice but it was a test run, this was after school) from the speakers in the band room. So I decided to go out into the halls to see if it was working out there and it was working in some rooms but not all of them.

So I went back to the band room to try to figure out the problem when I discover my Ipad is no longer dangling from the ceiling with a wire in it. Now my band director had his own office that was separated from the rest of the band room but had a window looking into the bigger room.

I look into the office and I see my Band director in the room with my ipad in his hands( I still have no idea why he was there in the first place, this was way after school hours). I did not want to risk him seeing me so I bailed out of there as fast as I could.

The next day near the end of class he pulls out the ipad and asked the class if someone wanted to be honest and say who it was or else he would check the serial number on the tablet (all our iPads had numbers tied to our names).

He said he talked with 2 teachers who were also there after hours about the strange music and they decided that my ipad connected to part of the PA system was the culprit and that only other band kids would know how to get in here or even know the band room existed.

He did the whole "the consequences will be worse if you do not come now and I have to look this number up" thing. He gave us until the end of the day.

I contemplated how I would get the tablet before he looked the number up so I decided to stake out the band room and wait for the director to leave. I see him leave at around 2:30 and foolishly rush in there the first chance I got (I did not make sure He would not come right back.)

So I entered the band room and had to pick my way into the directors separate office (I think he was paranoid someone was going to steal it back.) I made it in to take the ipad out (I notice he had the serial number look up system on his computer but it seemed like his computer had frozen on him. Thank you shitty school desktops.)

I bailed out of there and with the ipad in my hand passed the director and our school's IT guy walking together as the director was explaining the problem he was having with his computer freezing. I just passed right by them with a little nod and a "hello, hope have a nice after noon mr. Director guy".

He replied that he knew it was going to be a good one and I just agreed and went on my way.

The next day their was an announcement that asked for whoever stole the ipad to give it back, and my band director was a little bit pissed off for the rest of the week, but eventually the event faded from all memory and I got off scot free, but my life of picking my way into high-schools was over.

Username: TuskanBananas
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13. A Hint of Visine

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There was this asshole in my middle school who devoted his entire lunch break to stealing whatever food he could get his scummy hands on, usually his from his friends but sometimes from strangers.

He was a smart kid but had zero morals and could get away with anything by clever lie after lie. After being fed up with his bullshit 2 friends and I came up with an ingenious plan that would surely make him think twice before swiping one of our tasty snacks again.

We had heard that visine eye drops were a very effective laxitive, so I made the executive decision to dump the entire bottle into the chocolate milk we bought from the vending machine, thinking that he would probably only take sip or two and then we would tell him.

The 3 of us walked into the area where he and some other buddies were hanging out during lunch, one of us pretending to sip from the drink. As we got within earshot of the asshole my accomplice turned to me and said "hey man, can you hold my chocolate milk while I go to the washroom? And don't let that asshole steal it" just as we had planned.

He took about 5 steps to the washroom until the asshole grabbed the milk from my hand and ran down the hallway chugging it. The plan had worked perfectly. He returned minutes later knowing something was wrong just from the looks on our face and how we neglected to chase him.

We told him with grins on our face that the milk was spiked with visine and that he would very sick if he drank any more.

The fucking moron looked us right in the eye and said "Ha! visine is just saline that's not going to do anything. You guys are retarded!" and proceeded to finish every drop of that chocolate milk.

We went about the rest of the day thinking that he probably was right and that it wouldn't do a thing. We even asked him the following morning how he felt after and told us he had no problems. But later that week the 3 master minds were hauled into the principles office and informed that the asshole had lied to us and that his parents had informed the school that he had spent the night in the hospital in extreme discomfort.

He was too embarrassed to ever tell us the full story and the principle neglected to tell us all the details but he apparently was pretty fucked up. I do know that he was sick enough to warrant a night in the er and didn't touch our lunches anymore.

The best part was the principle was unable to give us any real punishment. After all, he had stolen the drink right out of my hand. And it was all caught on the security camera we strategically positioned ourselves in front of, along with some footage of him stealing various other items from bags and whatnot. The principle also knew that we had informed him not to continue after he took the initial sip. It was the perfect crime.

It probably did help that he was a menace to the school and the administration hated him. We got away with nothing but a short easy apology letter the parents of the asshole for making them spend a night in the hospital with him. I'm sure we would have been punished much more severely had we poisoned a student and put him in the hospital in some other fashion.

Username: [deleted]
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14. TP in Broad Daylight

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So freshman year, I'm hanging out in the health classroom before class started. Some background on the health classroom: It's the oldest, jankiest room in the school.

This is because we don't actually have a health teacher, so the room is shared by all the physical ed teachers, and for half a semester each physical ed class would have classes in this room with their coach. It's also on the top floor of the school (This will be important later.).

On this fateful day, I'm suffering from massive allergy issues--my nose is running like crazy. Fortunately, there was a massive, industrial-sized roll of toilet paper someone had taken from a bathroom to serve as tissues (remember: shared classroom, no supplies) sitting in the open windowsill.

So, naturally, I had over to it to relieve my tortured nasal cavities. I grab the end of the roll and attempt to use my other hand to tear some paper off.

Big mistake. Nope, wrong, bad move on my part. The entire 12-inch diameter roll goes flying out the window with me holding on to the end of it. It starts unwinding, gets tangled up in a few electrical wires, and finally comes to a thud in the grass by the basement-floor windows.

There I am, innocently holding onto the other end on the 2nd floor. It was way too long for me to pull the entire mass up. I had to let go. I promised myself I would just let someone know at the end of class and go outside to pick up the mess.

I sheepishly tore the end off, blew my pitiful nose, and turned around. The entirety of the three-fourths of the class that happened to be in the room was staring at me in utter shock. I do a double-take out the window. Lucky for me, it was extremely windy that day.

The toilet paper was already unwound and scattered across 25% of our school's exceptionally large side yard and clinging to the textured brick of the side of the building. There was no freaking way I could admit to that mess and not get in trouble, even if it was supposedly an accident. I turned back around; my audience was waiting.

"Guys, please, don't say anything when class starts. I'm begging you." Some guys were chuckling to themselves, some girls were still gaping and giving judgmental looks, but overall no one really said anything. The teacher walked in. Class started. I awaited my judgment, but it never came. Surprisingly, nobody framed me that day.

When class ended, I began to walk down the glass stairwell, wondering how bad it was now. By that point, I stared out the window and gaped in disbelief. The. Entire. Freaking. Schoolyard. Covered in T. P. Tons of kids were crowding at the window freaking out and wondering who had the insane mind and balls of steel to do that in the middle of the day. I just got the heck out of there.

I walked around guiltily for the rest of the day, waiting for someone in the administration to come and get me. They never did, not that day, week, month, ever. But it was talked about until the day I graduated. No one ever knew the identity of the school's best TP-er, and secretly I grew kind of proud of my diabolical deed.

Username: [deleted]
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15. Free Twinkies

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In the school district I lived in, the high schools were pretty overcrowded, so they kept freshmen in the junior highs for 9th grade. I was very much into sports, but wasn't an athlete in any respect.

I had a teacher who was a mentor to me, he happened to be the track coach. He asked me to come out for the track team and try throwing shot and discus.

Needless to say, that didnt work out well, but he knew I needed the PE credit so he kept me on as a team manager even though he already had a student manager. As managers, pretty much all we did was take a couple of ice chests to the cafeteria and fill them with ice for the team to ice their shins with after practice.

After the first few times doing this, I noticed the other manager throwing snacks from the cafeteria into the ice chest as we filled it. He told me not to tell and he'd get some for me as well. As a tubby kid, I loved twinkies and the though of free twinkies during 6th hour was too good to pass up.

One day, coach gives us his keys and sends us to the coaches office to get something. While in there, the other manager noticed on the key ring there was a master key for all the lockers. We went to a pretty bad school with quite a bit of gang activity.

Alot of the guys were involved in low level drug dealing. Well, he starts opening up the lockers of these guys and going thru their stuff. He'd take just enough that they wouldnt notice, we got maybe $3-5 from each guy for a total of $20-30 a day. We'd then split it up and that kept me in baseball cards all of my freshman year.

Also, as a junior, again, thanks to school overcrowding, they had a few teachers quit at the semester break because of the classloads and such. My algebra teacher was one of these that quit, so in a scramble, the district brought in retired teachers to teach the rest of the semester until permanent teachers could be hired.

We got this old guy named Mr. Puglsley, had to be 75 years old. He taught a bit different than the other math teachers. Most of the teachers would lecture the whole period and would send you with homework due the next day. Mr Pugsley instead lectured for just a few minutes then went to each student individually and tutored them for a few mins.

He had us do as much of the homework as we could in class so it made it easier on us. In hindsight, it was a great think he did, but I was a punk at the time. He would seat us alphabetically, and being near the end of the alphabet, I ended up in the back of the class, right near his desk and the door.

So when he'd start going to each individual student, he's start with the A's and make his way back. So while he was on the other side of the room, Id sneak out the open door, hide out in the bathroom for a few mins to make sure coast was clear, and then head out for an extended lunch.

I dont know if he ever caught on, but if he did, I changed the personal info card he made each of us fill out that he kept in a file box on his desk. I changed my home and parents' work numbers to chat lines, so even if he ever noticed me gone and tried to call my parents, all he'd get was sexy party chat lines.

Username: uli2000
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16. With Vanilla

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I was a socially akward guy, and it was only in my final years of school that I managed to develop some social skills. Towards the end of 9th grade, I was hanging out with some friends when we decided to dare each other. One thing lead to another, and soon we were making bigger and bigger dares every day, though nobody ever dared me to do anything (we almost exclusively dared a new guy from the class, because, well, we were assholes).

Our school was next to a supermarket. This being Denmark, the school had a "no-sweet, no-snacks, no-soda" policy which was enforced strictly. This meant that during the summer, a lot of students bought, believe it or not, strawberries with vanilla sauce.

To the point, during the last days, we were casually talking, when one guy sudddenly said "Hey guys, just thought, N7Crazy hasn't even done a dare yet!". The snowball began rolling, were one dare-idea was wilder than the other. Then it suddenly all ended when the same guy said "Hey, I got it! You know all those guys and galls who sit and chomp strawberries and vanilla sauce? Take somebody's sauce while they're not around, masturbate into it, then put it back like nothing happened - and you gotta do it today!".

Now, I had been a loner most of my life, and getting friends and getting into a group was the best damn thing that had ever happened to me, and I was terrified that I might lose all that, so I agreed.

Turned out was that it was harder than I thought - Everyone ate their damn strawberries and vanilla sauce immediatly, and I never had an oppertunity.

Then during a minor break in a lesson, a girl returns with some strawberries, and a little plastic bowl of vanilla sauce. Everyone else has left the class to go play soccer outside, and she suddenly leaves. I sit for about 20 seconds with a raging debate happening in my head thinking "Should I do it?

What if she comes back too soon? It's to risky, NO, I must do it, but yet, what if I get caught?" until I decided to fuck it all, and pull it off (pun partially intended). I took the little plastic bowl with vanilla sauce, removed the plastic packaging, found a quiet spot, unnoticable from the doorway and windows, unzipped my pants, and fapped manically.

Within a minute, the job was done. I put the vanilla sauce back sat down on my seat, and thought I had pulled the perfect crime before it suddenly hit me - She hadn't removed the packaging, and now it was wide open with some strange substance on the surface of it which obviously had a different shade of white.

I freaked out, and it didn't help she returned seconds after I realized my mistake, so I didn't have a chance to act...

But she never noticed. She ate all of the strawberries with vanilla sauce, and I just sat beside her, staring at how she ate my seed mixed with vanilla. She never found it - Didn't help that we later went on to study at the same high school, and she thinks I have a crush on her since I stare at her oddly every time I see her thinking "She ate my cum... With vanilla..."

Username: N7Crazy
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17. Special Sauce

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I considered using a throwaway for this cause it's pretty gross, but this was 15 years ago and I can claim temporary insanity, so fuck it.

I went to an extremely strict boarding school for junior and senior years of high school. This was one of those places you hear about being investigated for child abuse (cause it was, after I left) to give you an idea of how strict this place was.

They were also very religious and their attitude towards sex and masturbation was basically, "No!! BAD!!! NO TOUCHING!!!" Seriously, you literally were not allowed to touch a person of the opposite sex and if you accidentally brush or bump, you both had to apologize immediately or you could get in trouble.

There was NO privacy as well. The dorms consisted of shitty trailers filled with bunk beds. If you wanted to bash the bishop in your bed, you basically had to be a ninja or you would get yelled at and humiliated. The showers were timed, 4 minutes, so no time to choke it then. The bathroom then? Nope, not unless you wanted to jerk the gherkin in front of your bathroom buddy.

Anyway, this is all to say that this lack of privacy resulted in what I am calling adolescent sex drive temporary insanity. My first year there, I wasn't drinking the kool aid yet so I had no qualms about slapping the seal. So here's some of the places I did it:

In class: I sat at the back and stared at this girl who sat in front of me and one row over. Epic side boob. I didn't pull my dick out though. I would just stroke it through my pants. Gross wet spot resulted.

On the bus: on the way back to school from an away basketball game. Hunched over with my winter coat covering everything, pretending to be asleep. Sorry to whomever sat there next :(

In the bathroom stall with bathroom buddy waiting for me to finish "pooping".

In bed: tried to ninja it, got yelled at by someone across the room, blamed it on the guy in the bottom bunk. Sorry Nic :(

In the shower: I'll wash my hair tomorrow, gotta take care of mr happy this time.

This one's the worst: I was in a drama class. We were doing a play and I had a small part that left me with a lot of free time on my hands between my lines. I found a spot backstage where the scenery butts up against the black side curtains. This resulted in a small pocket of privacy from which I could peek out and see the action on the stage from a place if complete privacy. So yeah, standing there, mere feet from people acting on stage, I made those curtains a little less black.

Nobody ever caught me. I am certain of this because if anyone had, staff or student, I would have been ratted out and a HUGE deal would have been made about it. Eventually I stopped doing this crap and I actually admitted to it with my sponsor/advisor a few months after I had stopped. His suggestion was to not tell anyone else about it.

Username: Pancerules
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18. Wasn’t MY Dead Cat

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Carrying a dead cat across campus - but it wasn't *my* dead cat.

I don't actually know whose dead cat it was, and I'm not sure how it died (likely rabies - there was foamy shit all up by it's mouth and it had a fucked-up leg.) But it was curled up, body nice and rigored, by the bike racks one morning. My friends and I saw it and thought, "Well, what the fuck do we do about this?"

We asked a passing patrol of school security guards, and their best response was, "Get rid of it."

So we found a cardboard box and my buddy carefully wrastled it in - well, most of it. The box wasn't as big as we thought it was, nor was it quite that strong. Because of this, the cat's hind was sticking up the top of the box, and it's head was poking out the bottom.

Anyway, we figured it would be damnably irresponsible to just go tossing it in any old garbage can - it was a dead cat after all, and deserved the most ornate funeral we could give it in the fifteen minutes we had before class started. The cat deserved to be put in the big dumpsters on the other end of the campus. And so it came to pass that we walked through campus with a dead cat sticking ass and head out of a cardboard box.

My friends and I had, at this point, already established ourselves as the outliers of the high school community - which meant nobody wanted to confront us as we walked across campus in the bustle of the pre-class morning. About halfway along, my freshman biology teacher did approach us and asked, "What've you got there?"

And we told her, "It's a dead cat." She walked away after that.

Anyway, we made it to the dumpster and found that the staircase that normally led up to the top of the dumpster was gone. It wasn't a regular dumpster, I should mention, it was a big fucker - easily nine or ten feet tall and the length of a shipping container. Figuring that, if leaving a dead cat in a trash can is irresponsible, just leaving it next to a dumpster was just as irresponsible, we decided to toss it over the edge of the dumpster.

It was a very kind ceremony - performed in full view of a security guard and the Physical Education department. My buddy prepared his body to lob a cat ten feet in the air, and I made up a bible verse that sounded appropriate. Then, after commending the cat to the loamy scree of old soda cans and uneaten pizzas where I assumed it frolicked, my buddy threw the box with all it's might and it landed in the dumpster.

The cat didn't though - it feel to the ground at the side with a sickening 'crunch' that made us both cringe. We spent a good minute staring at the dead cat, then my buddy picked it up gingerly by the tail and made a second effort. On that attempt, the cat landed with a satisfying 'kssplicitffff' in the dumpster, and we felt like we had done a good deed.

Well I did, my buddy felt like he needed to wash his hands.

Username: TheMilkyBrewer
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19. Stack of Douche Dominoes

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I was talking spanish back in Jr. High school. My Spanish teacher and I had a real love hate relationship at the time. He would give me shit during class and vice versa. It was all in good fun really. Well, one day, he boasted to the class that he could eat spicier foods than any of us.

Well, being the devious little shit that I was/am, I decided to let him try some Dave's Insanity sauce and I had acquired during my adolescent travels.

I brought it to school the next day. No permission from any one, no warning, just brought it and announced during the class "Hey, Señior, I brought some hot sauce for you to try today". Well he tried it, after class, and I could tell he was struggling. Red in the face and coughing he wheezed "Hmm, not bad" and sent me on my way.

That should have been the end of it there. I duped my Spanish teacher into trying the hottest, face burning, ass melting hot sauce that I have ever tried. Mission accomplished, right? Not even close. I decided to take it to lunch with me to let my friends try it. Friends is a loose term here because who would want to be friends with someone who made liquid thumb tacks come out of your ass?

Lunch progressed normally at first until I convinced enough of my friends to try it. Then lunch devolved to my friends running to and from the water fountain. This somehow aroused the curiosity of the jock dickbags around the cafeteria.

All of the sudden, I was met with a sudden jab in the back and a "Hey, lemme try dat shit". Low and behold it was one of the biggest jock douches in the school at the time.

Well I showed an air of timidness but my mind had already begun racing toward ultimate revenge. I knew he was a "badass" and he knew that the entire cafeteria had their eyes on him at this point. I put a little drop on a chip and handed it to him. Apparently he didn't think this was enough and said "What do you think I am, some kind of a pussy?!". This motherfucker was in my trap now and I had him right where I wanted him.

I proceeded to smother that chip in Dave's to the point that it was completely covered and overflowing. I will never in my entire life forget what happened next.

Him, red faced and running for the bathroom, got more jocks in the dick swinging contest line. One after another they fell, like a stack of douche dominoes.

All in all, nine guys thew up and one had to go home for the rest of the day. I got sent to the nurses office because both the principal and the vice were out for the day.

The nurse put my Dave's bottle in her medicine fridge and told me not to bring it back. I picked it up at the end of the day and went home like I was the fucking King of England.

Username: UncleMcThreeway
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20. Speed Bump

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My last day at my high school I decided to take a free day to enjoy myself since I didn't have to go to any of my classes and my friends at the time said it was cool for me to use his car all day as long as I put gas in it, which I did.

At this point in my life I was a serious pot head and would indulge in some pharmaceuticals and other pills as well. Well since I had no classes to attend, it was "Get Really Fucking High Day" for me.

I smoked all day and had a lot of vicodins and percosets and other pain killers and was totally shot (in hindsight, I am surprised I didn't OD). Anyways, during one of the lunch breaks I meet up with a different friend and tell him I got J's car and we can go anywhere to smoke.

He was down so we made our way there. Now while I was starting up the car and reversing to pull out of the parking spot, my buddy was all into this story and I was paying undivided attention... BAM!

I backed up into my teachers truck! I snap into focus and quickly look around to see if anyone noticed and spotted a truck that was parked right next to where I pulled out of full of other kids pointing my direction with wide eyes and one of them laughing.

I thought I was fucked... My friend started freaking the fuck out and telling me to let him out. I told him "No, you can't get out right now.

The camera is right there and if it see's you run, it'll raise suspicions." (there was a camera at the corner of the lot and I was parked literally 20ft from it).

He agreed to stay in the car to the exit of the lot and I quickly, and I mean QUICKLY, sped over the speed bumps and got the fuck out of there. Dude jumped out the car and ran off. I speed to a nearby neighborhood and scoped out the damage.

I busted the shit out of J's rear light and there was a fat dent. Thought to myself "Holy shit! How fast was I going when it hit?!" Right then is when I realized I was done for. I already been busted with weed twice and this would be my third strike and I would be expelled.

And the worst of it being I had no license. Figured the camera saw it all and the SRO (student resource officer) was looking for me. I camped out in that neighborhood till the end of the day then parked in the opposite side of the school. J wasn't even pissed.

This guy was a super hippy and all he asked was for some acid drops to pay him for the damage lol! I transferred over to my new school and never heard anything about that day.

Username: PvtStash
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21. Good Kid, Bad Vodka

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There was me, the class joker in High School. I had a small group of tight friends, and no enemies. I hung out with the Annie May kids, the Yu-Gi-Oh kids, the potheads, and various other groups.

I never made it to the popular status and cliques, but I was satisfied in that I could still make people laugh in every group I interacted with.

I was a little shithead in middle school, and in High School that changed. I played too much Xbox, too many MMOs(Freelancer, Planetside, WoW, EVE, and City of Heroes/Villains were basically all of my Junior and Senior year, while Halo 2 absorbed my 10 grade year.), and too much time spent in my cave. I was a modern day troglodyte.

We had pep rallies every year, and I was feeling particularly rebellious. Mix that in with my friends' bad influence and there was me, riding the bus to school with a water bottle filled with vodka, tinged brown to look like tea(Added a little in because I thought I was so fucking clever.).

Whatever, right? The teachers love me, and I'm a good kid who does no wrong, they'll never suspect a thing.

And they didn't.

So lunch time rolls around, and my friends and I are telling our usual jokes, being stupid high schoolers. I bust out the vodka, and everyone's excited. Me being me, start chugging it and to my credit, I got a good bit in me. Of coursourse I was dumb and didn't eat breakfast, and I didn't each lunch, either because I used my lunch money to pay for my subscriptions.

We have good laughs, and I go a bit overboard. Fourth period comes around. My favorite teacher! But something is amiss. Mr. Derpington isn't feeling so hot. I would later find out that this is a state called being drunk. At the time, I just knew that the room wouldn't stop spinning and I wanted to crawl into a hole.

My teacher notices, assumes I'm sick, and I ask if I can go to the bathroom. Rushing out into the hall, I barely make it a few steps before spewing pink liquid all over the hallway. You see, all I had for lunch was a few Taco sauce packets(I'm weird and just enjoy the flavor), so that was mixed with the vodka, all over the hallways.

I ran to the nurse, told them I'd thrown up, they called my parents, and I went home. I stayed drunk for the rest of the day, but felt absolutely fantastic a few minutes after being home and ended up Ruining the Terran Republic's conquest of Esamir for the rest of the day.

It was awesome, and I never got caught.

Username: Herp_Von_Derpington
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22. Harmless $2500 Prank

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My school had streamed classes and the top half of the year did exams before the lower half (Cambridge exams and NCEA respectively) so in our last year we wanted to pull off one final prank on the school before my friends doing Cambridge exams left on study leave.

Every morning the entire school had to all sit in the big main hall for assembly and whenever a pigeon got trapped in the hall everyone would zone out and watch as it flew around in a panic. This gave us an idea.

The plan was to get a dozen helium balloons and attach bread to the string, we would then usher in a bunch of pigeons with the idea that the birds would fly around trying to get the bread, hopefully crapping over the whole school.

The whole pigeon thing buggered up when we failed to coax the pigeons into the hall so we decided to replace the bread with toiletpaper so as to give people something ridiculous enough to glaze out to.

So two of our mates went up to the 3rd floor of the hall equipped with stockings over their faces of the hall to release the balloon toiletpaper combo while me and a friend patrolled the ground to solve any problems that may arise.

A couple of balloons got weighed down by the tp weight and settled amongst the 3rd formers (first years) so I had to wade in amongst em and ruin their fun so our balloons got their elevation they deserved.

Anyway, balloons all afloat me and my mates met outside and congratulated ourselves for a salvaged prank well done. That's when we heard the WW2 era air siren that happenned to be the big old halls fire alarm.

As we scampered back to our friends car overlooking the field where the entire school was being evacuated to we realized our pigeon shit prank had turned into a $2500 full on fire engine callout.

Over the next week those of us who still remained at school had to contain our giggles as the principal appealed to the school for info for who triggered the fire alarm. Then all of a sudden my name got called out to see the dean.

Fuck, I thought, those lil shit third formers ratted me out. This, thank jeebus, was a false alarm as my dean simply clicked the wrong person on a spreadsheet.

However I did learn that the stupid lil kids who I pushed aside on the day fingered the wrong person and damn near got him suspended (we both had massive blonde mops at the time).

Username: maniaclemax
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23. Spring Fling

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Sex during school, in the school, almost daily with quite a few different different FWBs and/or wannabe girlfriends over the years. Maybe it was made easy by the simple fact that most the girls were the last ones that anyone would ever suspect of doing something like that, especially with someone like me.

But "good" girls always have been the easiest. Didn't care about getting caught, but never did. Though, looking back on it, I'm very surprised that it was that easy.

Also, this was accomplished without sneaking or hiding somewhere, or going places we weren't supposed to be, but obviously it wasn't right out in the open. I imagine this happens quite a bit these days with the way teenagers have progressed socially, but back in the early/mid 90s, it would have been a little more shocking.

**EDIT**: Just thought of something else that might actually be better. Some days in high school I just didn't feel like attending certain classes, but I didn't have any interest in leaving the school and taking a chance of getting caught.

So I simply found a random classroom that wasn't mine and sat in the hallway outside of it with my back against the lockers and caught myself up on homework or drew/sketched something, or whatever I could come up with to pass the time.

This worked flawlessly because kids sitting outside in the hall like that was a common punishment that teacher's used.

The Vice Principal and other staff would frequently walk around and monitor the hallways and sometimes even stop and chitchat with the kids or pass by and give me a head shake like "aww, shame, shame, shame".

But none ever thought that I might be skipping a completely different class that I was supposed to be attending on the other side of the school. And the teacher's teaching the classes never saw me, because I was on the same side as their doorway and they had no reason to peak out.

But if they did, I had that covered too, by sitting halfway between doorways so they'd just assume the class next door tossed me out.

This method provided a nice break on occasion and I don't recall ever being punished for it. They certainly took note that I wasn't there, but possibly the person in charge of keeping track of it all just assumed since I was there for my first 4 classes, then not the 5th, and then again for the rest, that there must have been some reason for it. I'm not sure what they thought and I didn't really care.

Maybe that's why it worked so well.

Username: Lost_In_LaPorte
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24. Tyler

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In high school, there was a particular male jerkoff who I'll call Tyler. (sorry any Tylers reading this) Typical loudmouth rich boy that bragged constantly about the new clothes and gadgets his parents were supplying him. Treated everyone except his groupies (also spoiled kids) as beneath them, even the teachers.

Call me what you will, but I actually respected our teachers. They had to deal with us day in and day out...they had it rough. Last thing they needed was some punk kid talking down to them in their own classes.

As for me, I roamed the basement hallways during my breaks with my fellow lurkers, so I really didn't interact with this group of fiends unless it was in class.

One day, we were in English class and were set to groups writing something or other. Tyler was assigned to my group and complained loudly and constantly about having to stoop to such a menial task. I was just working away, trying to ignore him as best I could, when suddenly he decides he's going to get my attention by yanking my hair.

In a flash of rage, I took my mechanical pencil and stabbed it into the side of his head. I didn't think...I just did. I sat and continued writing without looking around, my adrenaline surging. I knew I was in deep shit now but fucking hell, that douche fucking deserved it and I didn't care.

Tyler sat in silence and since I was looking at my paper, I couldn't see what his reaction was. Soon though, his buddy just says, "Dude. You're bleeding everywhere."

Have you ever seen a chicken get freaked out by something? That's kind of what Tyler did, clucking and bawling included.

"LOOK WHAT YOU FUCKING DID!" He screams at me, jumping out of his chair. I can't help but look - I have to see because the amount of blood would probably equal how much trouble I was in. His shirt was soaked all down the right side. The rage on his face was offset by his free arm waving around ridiculously while holding his other hand to his head.

The teacher finally arrives, Tyler starts off on him, spittle flecking into the poor man's face. Teacher just says calmly, "You'd better head to the nurse's office."

The teacher looked at me. I looked at him and could swear a smile was begging to burst onto his face.

I never once got into trouble for it. No office visit, no reprimand, nothing. And no revenge from Tyler either, which I found incredibly strange.

Username: Pisken
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25. Accidental CPS

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It all starts with a football dinner the night before, where I gave an underclassman(lets call him jimmy) a ride there and back. He leaves his cell in the car which I find the next morning and place in my pocket to give back later that day.

Well it's 6:30 in the morning and my first class is an independent project class, so its just me and the teacher alone in a computer lab. Jimmys phone starts to ring, which i answer thinking its him using another phone.

Turns out jimmy listed his parental contact number as his own, so I pick up to his math teacher complaining about his homework grade. Not missing a beat I put on my thickest Dave Chappelle White Guy voice and answer as Jimmys Dad.

The convo lasts about 2 minutes and goes regularly, but the bells about to ring and i gotta wrap this up. So after hearing her complaints i say in the most upbeat tone i can manage" Oh, uhuh, well that IS a problem!

Well I assure you that if jimmy doesn't get his homework in order he's gonna get the beating of his life, hahaaaa" the teacher responds with a few seconds of stammering before i end it with "ok bye bye now *click*"

Later that day during lunch jimmy comes up to me in the halls frantic and asks if i have his phone and if i answered it that morning. I give him the phone and his answer, and find out child protective services were now investigating his dad.

Turns out, the teacher found nothing fishy about jimmys dad talking like steven colbert in harvey birdman attorney at law, and being a required reporter went to the principle shaken by the phonecall.

They were questioning jimmy and his brother in the office, and apparently were going to interview the dads coworkers which would be especially bad as hes a union president.

This had quickly escalated beyond a normal prank, and while I could have gotten away with it, I wasnt about to ruin lives over a laugh. The next school day I went to the office and turned myself in, defusing the situation, and later called to apologize to his father who was surprisingly chill about the whole mess.

Now here's the real kicker, several years later while in college, I find out that Jimmy's dad was in fact an abusive father, and was being investigated/charged for the domestic violence.

Funny how the world works.

Username: gellinmagellin
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26. Gods Eyes

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Before I tell this story I need to point out that it was when I was much younger and no longer hold these prejudices. (**Edit 1**: In no way, shape, or form does the following story make me proud)

When I was in 10th grade there was an openly gay kid in some of my classes (this was in a small town in PA in 1996 so small minds prevailed). Being of the small town mentality, I obviously was very much an asshole to this poor kid.

One day we had a substitute teacher for our Algebra class. I spent pretty much the whole class making rude anti-gay comments to my friend, making sure that he could hear me.

Towards the end of class I heard someone call my name and when I turned to look, it was him. he winked at me and blew me a kiss to try and piss me off.

Well, it worked. I waited till the end of class bell rang then waited outside of the door in the hallway. When he cam out of the room I grabbed his book bag and proceeded to punch him in the back of the head, pull him down (he was about 1.5 to 2 heads taller than me) to my level and knee him in the ribs while punching.

A passing teacher broke up the fight, and sent me to the principles office.

At this point in the story, I need to point out that the principle of our school was a fairly obvious butch lesbian. When she asked me why I beat the kid up, I explained that I did it because he was gay and explained the part where he "flirted" with me.

I used the defense that it was wrong in Gods eyes and sited the obvious Leviticus passages to argue my point. Being set in the location and time frame that it was I was able to argue my way out of getting in trouble.

I am now 33 years old and have no prejudices left. I have made several attempts to track down this guy to apologize for all the times I messed with him and everything, but I have been unsuccessful. All I know is that after high school he moved out to California.

About 10 years ago when I met my wife and got myself out of my (bad) drug habit, I made it a point to track down as many people as I could on facebook and try and make amends for all the shitty things I did in high school. I was able to do find everyone but the kid this story is about.

I still think about him from time to time and feel extremely guilty for the shitty things I did, so I guess you could say I really didnt get away with anything, because karma has kicked my ass.

Username: [deleted]
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27. Flying High at Disneyland

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Alright, so for my senior grad night we went to Disneyland, and we had been told of a bunch of rules we'd have to abide by and how we were gunna be patted down and that there were going to be a lot of security there and that there would be people checking the cameras for suspicious behaviour by us.

But, a couple of friends and I decided to bring some weed to smoke a couple hours before we were supposed to leave.

So we kind of freak out and try to find out how we're gunna do this. I ask one of our teachers (he's a pretty cool, chill dude) if we're going to have to follow dress code and get patted down and everything while we're with the general public or just for the actual grad night portion of the trip.

He totally knows something's up with us (but he's really chill, he joined in on a conversation that my friend and his girlfriend were having in class about baking kief cakes during his class once), but he just says he doesn't know the specifics, but that my hat should be fine because Jack Skeleton is a Disney character. So that doesn't really help us but we say fuck it and plan away.

My friend kept a few blank bible papers (what we used for rolling papers) in his wallet, a lighter in his shoe, and I took out the ink tube of a Bic pen (but kept the metal tip in) and packed it with weed.

We decided that if for whatever reason we had to take off our shoes for the pat down we could ditch the lighter cuz we could always buy another one.

We also decided that we would leave the park because of the extra security (our excuse for leaving would just be to go check out Downtown Disney. This was when we were with the general public, not when the actual grad night started, so we weren't forced to stay in the park).

So after a few hours we left the park, through Downtown Disney, out the parking lot, and then walked a few blocks away from the parking lot. There were three of us and we just sat down on the side walk, my friend rolled a joint, and we lit it up and started heading back. Fun times were had.

Also I got ice cream lock. Best ice cream of my life. We didn't get caught, which was awesome. Though I kind of freaked out because of how crowded it was. It was my first time being high while in a crowd of people and that wasn't very fun.

Everything else was, though.

Username: Dark_Waters
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28. Heil Principal!

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I'm going to start by saying I was infamous with administration in high school and middle school for my stunts, some of which even ended in conversations with police. I walked through the halls during lunch with a boombox on my shoulder blaring the Beastie Boys and gathered a small army before I was shut down.

I swam a mile across Lake Itasca (headwaters of the Mississippi, located in Minnesota) in my boxers in April (shortly after the lake thawed), I made posters of myself shirtless wearing a cape and turned it in as health assignment, I wreaked havoc with my tiny universal remote, etc etc.

But one story probably tops them all.

During my senior year of high school, there was a very radical change in administration, and a very strict principal took over. Among other new policies, he decided that to cut down on kids getting to school late, he would have security hold all of the late kids in the cafeteria for their first class.

So I was late one day, and hauling my ass to band class, when the bell goes off and a guard catches me trying to sneak into class.

I was pissed about missing band, and so in protest I drew a large swastika on the back of the unexcused tardy form and wrote "Heil mein führer principal's name" and left it on the table when I left.

So twenty minutes later I get called into the office by the vice principal who questions me about my missing form. I tell him that I threw it away and he asks me to give him a sample of my handwriting which he then brings to the principal for analysis.

The moment he leaves, I poke my head out of his office and call to one of my classmates who was an office aide, and I instruct her to crumple an unexcused tardy pass and to throw it away in a particular trash can near the cafeteria.

So when the vice principal returns, he tells me that my handwriting matches a very insulting message and that I would need to show him where I disposed of mine. So I bring him to the garbage can, and he rolls up his sleeves and starts digging.

Pretty soon he finds the form that my classmate left there, and he apologizes to me and asks me to go to class. I found out a week later that the new principal was Jewish. Oops.

Username: GeoffTheProgger
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29. Revenge and Ice Cream

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This is a long story about how I was bullied but When I was in middle school I was constantly bullied by this one kid. We had similar last names, both started with "can" anyways he tortured me every single day, and with just constantly make comments about things I do.

Everyone loved him and thought he was hilarious. I couldn't stand this kid with a burning passion and every day fantasized about beating the shit out of him.

I had told teacher about it but that just seemed to make it worse for me. I had talked to my guidance consoler multiple times and even was told that I need to defensively stand my ground. I took it with a grain on salt and was bullied for a few more years.

Now it wasn't until 10th when I just snapped. I had become friends with kid in my class who I though was really cool because I never had any friends prior. Well dick bag Mcgee comes over and tells this kid all this shit about me and that he shouldn't talk to me.

So he starts avoiding me and I remember the day I asked him why he kept ignoring me and he pointed over to dick bag and told me what he said, and in that moment all of rage from those year had been unleashed.

Mind you this was in the mind of history class, I sat there boiling until dick bag finally made one more wise as remark, and everything after that point in my mind went black but apparently what I had done was I stood up after his comment picked up my desk and threw it three rows over at this kid.

Hit him directly in the chest, I then proceeded to jump over the desk and drop kick him while he was on the ground (I watched a lot of wrestling) and then proceeded to pummel him. The teacher had pulled me off and I remember just looking down and seeing this kid covered in blood.

I was pale as ghost and blood on my knuckles.

I remember the teacher telling me to leave the class later I was pulled into the principle office by myself and he just looked at me and said finally, and he proceeded to tell me that I wouldn't get any punishment because he was aware of this kids behavior because I was not the first to pick him up as an issue to him.

I ended up spending the rest of the day talking to my principal and he bought me ice cream. It was a good day.

Dick bag also transfered to another school after the incident so I never saw him again.

Username: assholeofnew
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30. No Justice for the AC

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So this was my first realization that there is no justice in the world...

In 7th grade, I come across this friend, after lunch, sticking sticks in the outside air conditioner unit. They'd get chopped up in the fan, made a funny noise, and it was pretty fun, so I started doing it too. There was a teacher there, but she didn't come to stop us, tell us it was wrong, or anything.

The next class, I get called to the office and find out that I have to serve detention for 3 days, even though I tried to explain I didn't know it was against the rules and I'd never do it again.

I wasn't a troublemaker and just wanted to avoid it as much as possible. However, ignorance of the law is no excuse.

I guess that's another thing I learned from this, even though I doubt there was a rule about not shoving sticks into an air conditioner.

Fun fact: The principal who sent me to detention has a son that's my district's shitty, traitorous congressman who supports the NSA.

Anyway, fast forward to the next year and I've got this job where I help the janitor clean up the tables after lunch, instead of going to study hall. So this other kid and I get done and are waiting outside the doors for the next bell to ring in about 10 minutes.

A friend of mine got out of class early too and was just standing there shooting the bull with us. Then my friend says he has to go piss. The bathroom is just 30 feet down the hall, but he just figures since nobody is around, he'll just go piss on this air conditioner unit.

The other dude thinks this is a great idea and does it too. Well, there was a girl and boy are in the hallway doing an art project since the art room is just inside the door and they see them taking a leak on this A/C unit. They tell the art teacher, which happened to be my friend's favorite teacher.

He comes out there and instead of giving them detention, he lets them off on a warning, but he acts like I was pissing on it too, even though I swore I didn't.

The only good thing about that was the A/C unit he pissed on was the one used by a teacher we would have the next year, which was the worst teacher in that entire school district. I hope her room smelled like piss.

Username: bracomadar
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