We think we’ve heard it all, right? We’ve heard of people who have married trains. We've heard of people who have married their dogs and some who have even married buildings. Hey, love is a complex thing (hah! Get it? Complex/buildings? OK. Moving on…) and when you find it, you have to hold on to it, no matter where it comes from. So, we shouldn’t be too surprised to hear that men are now having affairs with robots, should we? I mean, technology has made life so much easier for all of us, it's about time that someone came up with a gadget to make affairs easier, no?
But this is not just a gadget. Men are spending thousands of dollars on life-size robotic dolls. Hey, some men spend money on boats, sports cars, and whiskey. These guys are choosing robotic dolls instead.
The strangest thing about these men is that they are not what you would expect them to be. These are not sad and lonely men who have no family and no friends. The men spending money on these robotic dolls are often married and family men.
Even stranger? His wife knows about April. Everyone does, for that matter, because James isn’t hiding his doll in an attic somewhere. This guy enjoys splurging on April — he even takes her out on dates. Yeah.
Want to know what it's like to date a non-human, plastic woman? Well, James said it's surprisingly like being with a real woman. (Just forget about the fact that real women talk, breathe, and make their own decisions.)
“When I take April out it’s usually to a hamburger place where we can stop and get a bite to eat, a lot of people don’t even notice she is not a breathing person,” James said about the doll. “We usually have sex two to three, sometimes four nights a week routinely. It’s amazingly like having sex with a real woman, the biggest difference is whatever position you want them in you have to put them in, as they will not get there on their own.”
April doesn’t have much choice or say, which seems to be her biggest asset in the minds of men. But she has other assets too. The doll is 153cm tall and she looks quite life-like. Well, as life-like as a Barbie doll with that body, don’t you think?
But you see, these goods don’t come cheap. April cost James $2,600. I’m guessing it’s cheaper to have an affair with an actual woman. But hey, this guy delights in these dolls. In fact, he has three like April already.
Much like any avid collector, James isn’t done with his collection. This guy is currently saving up $10,600 to buy a robotic sex doll. Harmony is her name and this one is special — she is even responsive in bed.
I’m guessing Harmony will never criticize James. She will always enjoy whatever he does. Harmony even smiles, but again, no mention of frowning, complaining or any other negative trait. Hey fellas, if you're worried that your lady is faking her orgasms, buy yourself a sex robot. They fake it 100 percent of the time, but it doesn't really matter – they're just robots built for your pleasure!
“Most manufacturers make them look something in the region of 20 years old,” James said. “For a man of my age it’s a fantasy because I will never be a Brad Pitt or something like that.” I know I keep saying this over and over but what’s even weirder is that, this robot to man relationship isn’t just about the sex for James anymore. I suppose having sex with a robot that looks 20 years old is less creepy than James trying to pick up 20 year olds?
James enjoys dressing April and putting on makeup for her. He even interacts with her outside of the bedroom. This guy is so invested in his relationship with April, that he sometimes finds it hard to choose between her and his 36-year marriage to a living, breathing woman. Yeah.
“Most doll owners, although they do go into it with the doll as a sex toy, they find they do develop a relationship with it,” James explained. “If I had to choose between April and my wife I honestly don’t know what I would do.”
Girl, leave him. Leave him now. He'd choose a plastic doll over you. That's just messed up. We can only hope that his wife is enjoying her own relationship with a robot. One with unparalleled cleaning skills that is programmed to ask, "Tell me all about your day." Sexy.
The man behind these robots is Matt McMullen. He didn’t even start his work with the intention of creating sex robots.
“My original intention was to create a unique piece of art, something that looks so convincingly real that people stop and look at it,” McMullen explained. Potential clients were saying ‘I love your work and the way this doll looks, but can I have sex with it?’ It made me realize that this was going to be a business venture, not an art project. Fifty years from now, with the way technology is moving, it would not surprise me if sex robots were as commonplace as porn.”
So tell me, what do you think of these robots? Are they a good idea? Should we forego real people from now on and stick to relationships where we always get our way? I actually get the appeal. I mean, we’re always so busy. Yep, it's confirmed – this world is going to pieces.