If you want to love me at my best, get ready to see me at my worst. Surprise! @mgale_makeup

Women can multitask like a boss bitch, but that doesn't mean that things aren't going to get a little messy here and there. @the_truth_is_not_pretty

Beyonce makes her hair blowing in the wind work like a boss. Blake lively can totally rock the look. J.LO looks fierce with wind in her hair. You... not so much. @_meme._.obsession_

Your mini bar is stocked up and ready to entertain! Just make sure to take tiny little sips so the booze will last longer. @ketrujillo

You went for Tweety Bird. You got Twisted Bird instead. @ComedyCentralUK

You woke up like this. You know, with toothpaste on your face and drool on your pillow. @unfassbares

You go from Crazy Cat Lady to Pretty Kitty in a few filters and some super good lighting. @X7i8Qs8

You had good intentions but in the end, chips. @___.pusheen.___

The costumes, the makeup and the look is fierce AF. But underneath it's all sweat, chafing and BO. @plexicosplay

The real reality is an empty plate because you know that those brownies are not going to last long. @_.puzzletail._

I can show you the world... but you have to pay full price. Thanks. @sweet_cakesjo

They are adorable all day. They are laughing, smiling, showing love for one another and then, bam!  You go to take a picture and cue the tantrum in 3...2...1...go! @periashvili.keti

If you need me, I'll be at the ***gym***.

*** Taking a nap*** @aaaaachilles

Next time you feel bad about not having the perfect body or face, just remember that what you are seeing on Instagram, may not be the whole truth. @L7Q310g

Look cute in your winter wear, but just for the photos. The rest of the winter people can find you knee deep in snow, shivering in a puffy coat. @staybeautiffful_

When you order your clothes online, you never know what you're gonna get. @MrDylanEvans

She asked for a "Puppy Cut" not a "Demon Do." @_aalyssaaa

Here is another gruesome groomers tale. This dog's eyes say it all. @kaimccann_

Expectation: Adorable little Valentine's Day heart cookies. Reality: Burnt Blobs. @veegraceful

Note to self:  Amazon Prime is great for pretty much everything but buying new teeth. @mollie_cooper

This dog can turn lemons into lemonade and a tiny piece of cloth into a nice, cozy dog bed. @paetonmathes

You know what they say: Big boobs means big knees. @wk1VWD8

Have you ever seen a dog with a bad toupee? There's a first time for everything. @gregecky

Technically, the waitress did get the order right so please make sure you tip her correctly. @zJufuh3

While this company was thorough, they took his order way too literally. @Ezra_Sam-94

Expectation: Cutest haircut for a dog ever. Reality: Overexposed doggie butthole. @UP2YOUHA

Girls' Night Out. See also: Drunk texting your ex, crying to a stranger in a bar and peeing on the floor of a parking garage. @tZll6

It's all fun and games until you blow yourself up. But don't worry, because you'll look cool doing it. @Falkenbur

Expectation: This special mask will make you look like a Disney princess. Reality: You look like a ridiculous mess. @cool-bird

You wanted a pepperoni pizza. You got a pizza with a few lousy pepperoni slices. #sad @drewsoulman

Expectation: A cute little top for your teenage daughter to wear. Reality: A top that is so small it could only cover your cat's nipples. @beroemd

BBQ. BIG. BOLD? More like SLOP. SMALL. SAD. @YetiPie

When they said "tough as nails", maybe they meant finger nails? @someoftheanswers

A lazy Sunday includes not brushing your teeth until 2pm and skipping deodorant and a shower for 24 hours. @5k8FKiW

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