Looking for the perfect present for the Belieber in your life? Why not head over to AliExpress and buy a sex doll that kind of/sort of/maybe does not actually look like Canadian pop star Justin Bieber. AliExpress is a website that sells both male and female sex dolls, and this particular doll is especially popular. It’s also pretty creepy. And in case you did not sense the sarcasm in the beginning of this paragraph, please do not get a sex doll for the Justin Bieber fans you know unless they are legal adults and are certifiably into that sort of stuff. Now, let’s get into the nitty gritty of the silicone object that’s making the internet go crazy.
Full disclosure, nowhere on the website do they claim that this doll is a Justin Bieber look alike or supposed to resemble him. Someone just decided it looked like him and people ran with it. I personally think that the doll’s face looks like more Victoria Beckham or a male K-Pop star. Keep reading to see what I mean.
Dead ringer for the Biebs, no? Yeah, no. You're right. Still, people are losing their minds over the thought of having a Justin Bieber plastic play toy at their disposal.
AliExpress is a Chinese website that sells a variety of things, most of which are normal and boring. Having no idea which category these faux-Bieber dolls would be filed under, I tried searching “doll” and the first items that came up were baby dolls and Barbies. I also saw a very realistic looking baby boy, something about which didn’t sit right with me. I had to refine the search to “adult sex dolls” and then things got real.
If you’re planning on investigating this naughty time Biebs doll, don’t do it at work. As you might guess, you will be confronted with some strange and graphic objects. I personally hope no one sees my search history after this.
Maybe people just want companionship. Like Ryan Gosling’s character in Lars and the Real Girl. That still might not the healthiest thing, but this theory is for those of you who feel uncomfortable with the idea of sex dolls and want to imagine just a pure, platonic friendship between a man and his doll.
Who wants a one-size-fits-all sex doll? Well, lucky for us, this particular doll is customizable, allowing customers to choose a preferred eye color, skin color (natural, tan and white), fingernail and toenail color of their doll. You’re supposedly also able to choose your preferred doll penis size, though the website does not explicitly state this in the product description. Hmm choices, choices.
If you’re looking for a Bieber-sized doll, you’ll want to look elsewhere. Human Justin Bieber is 5 foot 7, and silicone sex doll Bieber is only 5 foot 2. Biebs is small, but not that small. Life is full of compromises.
Don’t worry about getting a rigid sexy time play friend, because according to the AliExpress website, “This sex doll's inner structure is metal skeleton and joint, can do flexibly all sorts of different sexy poses.” I wonder if Justin Bieber wishes he were that flexible in real life. Maybe he is, I don’t know him in that way.
The website describes it as a “gay male sex doll,” but also says it is for women. So, whoever you are, you can enjoy this lovely sex doll, which for your information, “is sculptured by an experienced sculptor.” Apparently, a lot of people are buying these things, so maybe they’ll all have a meet-up with their fake Biebers like people do with their French bulldogs.
I’m not a professional sex doll critic, unfortunately, but there are some problems with this doll – the eyeliner and nipples, to name a few. The face is very androgynous, but the body is more masculine and muscular, resembling Bieber’s actual body type more closely, now that he has started working out or whatever.The nipples also look pretty strange, but maybe that’s just me.
The doll runs about $1,200 plus around $300 for shipping to the US. That’s pricey, but this way people will probably have to think a bit longer about whether or not they should buy a fake sex person.
Bieber Weighs In
Just kidding, he’s too cool and busy to weigh in on this conversation. I’d love to hear his thoughts on all his "lookalike" sex doll, though. It’s definitely going to come up at his next family gathering.
So the doll doesn’t actually look like Justin Bieber, but I suppose it’s the closest anyone has gotten to creating a sex doll that resembles him. Maybe someone will create a doll that is supposed to look like the Biebs and actually does. Madame Tussauds figured it out, so I’m sure the sex doll industry could as well.
Where do you store a sex doll? What if you have people over to your house? Do you put him in a closet? What if somebody opened the closet and out popped a creepy silicone person that slightly resembles Justin Bieber? Or do you just keep him out in public and let him hang out with the crew?
People are naturally going crazy over this new revelation and both men’s and women’s websites are writing about it. Some sites claim they’ve now “seen everything,” but that is far from the truth. I haven’t seen Jude Law or Chris Hemsworth sex dolls yet.
For those of you considering buying this sex doll so that you can “hang out” with your favorite Canadian heartthrob, you have other options. There are Justin Bieber lookalikes and impersonators that you can hire by the hour! It’s still not the real Biebs, but at least it’s a human being that you can talk to. But if the sexual aspect is part of it for you, you’ll probably have to go with the doll. Here’s another picture of it to ensure you don’t sleep tonight!