At least I'm being honest here. You should be respecting me for my truthfulness. It's not like my shirt says, "Always Early, But I'm Never Surly" or "Always On Time, Hope You're Feeling Fine." Those are stupid sayings anyway.
"I am soooo sorry that what I told you was 100% spot on. Pleassssee forgive me for being so intuitive and observant. It's my bad for realizing all of your awful faults and horrible personality traits. Soooorrryyyy?"
I mean, there's a possibility that I am wrong, sure. There's always that possibility. Like, you know how there's a possibility that dogs and cats will rise up and take over as the dominant species? Yeah, that's about the level of how wrong I am.
I bought this T-shirt because every time a person asked me a question and I responded they'd say, "Geez, you don't have to be sarcastic about it." So I got the shirt. People still ask me questions and I still give them sarcastic answers, but that's only because people are stupid.
Quitters never win and winners never quit. What, are you going to let someone else buy that little black dress? Hell no! In fact, you will keep searching for that perfect little black dress even if it takes all day and your feet fall off. Right, winner?
Being a mom is hard work. And as much as they may love their kids, there are just some times when a mother says to herself, "My kids are a gift, but goddamn if their stupidity doesn't just crush my will to live." So far all you moms out there, this is for you.
Sure, having a guy is cool and everything, but can a guy be sprinkled with salt and dipped in ketchup? Well...uh...sure, I guess he can, but he still wouldn't taste as good. And the mess? Forget it. Stick with the fries.
Are you indeed a big deal? Or are you commenting on how everyone in society views themselves as a big deal? Guess what? It doesn't matter. Everyone will view it as sarcastic, which means, in the end, you truly are a big deal.