If you were a schoolkid at any point in the '90s, you probably remember when these bad boys were the greatest treasure you could find in your lunchbox. We'd still have these for lunch now if we could get our hands on them.
By and large, all kids' breakfast cereals spit in the eyes of nutrition but, in the '80s, one of the most brazen of offenders was Rocky Road. It's the cereal that makes us wonder who looked at Lucky Charms and thought, "Too healthy! Needs more chocolate!"
Before America truly went bonkers for low-fat and no-fat junk food, there were Almost Home Cookies, an early entrant in the "soft-baked" cookie category. The homespun packaging promised an experience as cozy as grandma's house, and the cookies got as close as store-bought cookies ever could.
Chef Boyardee pasta has been made available in lots of different cartoon character shapes over the years, but '90s kids know there was really only one choice: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. TMNT remains popular, so we don't know why we can't still get these.
These days there are many pretenders to the throne, but we fondly remember the king of candy bars masquerading as healthy snacks: Kudos. "Surprisingly nutritious!" reads the packaging for these gooey, granola-and-chocolate treats. Haha, OK.
The orangey hue of a Butterfinger candy bar's inside has always made us a little queasy, which is why Butterfinger BB's were such a godsend. Finally, we could enjoy that peanut-buttery crunch without having to look at something the same color as mac-and-cheese covered in chocolate.
In 1990, Twix introduced two new flavors that have long since disappeared: cookies-n-creme and chocolate fudge. These were by far the greatest Twix Bars every dreamed up, but we guess they were too radical for a world that fears change.
These mutant cookies were charming and terrifying in equal measure. The name "Giggles" implies that the grotesque approximations of human faces molded into the cookies were meant to be cute and friendly, but if anything they looked like those people from that one episode of The Twilight Zone.
Hail to the king of all juice boxes. Hi-C Ecto Cooler, the green, tangerine-flavored "juice" whose mascot was Slimer from The Real Ghostbusters, was popular enough to outlast for years the cartoon that inspired it. But, eventually, Slimer's brand recognition truly faded into nothing, and then so did Ecto Cooler. R.I.P.
Coffee and Coca-Cola: two great, caffeinated tastes that taste surprisingly great together. This idea was so ingenious that we're shocked Coca-Cola Blak wasn't invented sooner. The only thing more shocking was that it was discontinued.
What do you do when you're thirsty? You drink something? Haha, OK, Grandpa. When my generation needs to take a fire hose to its thirst, we chew chewing gum. We chew Gatorgum. It's Gatorade gum. "It works!" says the packaging. It must be true. They couldn't print that if it weren't true.
In the '90s, everything was "extreme." Soda, toothpaste, deodorant: It all had to be super intense and full of balls. Cinnaburst was at the vanguard of "extreme" chewing gum. You see, Cinnaburst had flavor crystals. We never really knew just what flavor crystals were, but the point was clear: Chewing Cinnaburst was like punching your mouth in the face.
We get that there will always be fast-buck, movie-tie-in products that come and go as quickly as movies come and go from theaters, but why the hell were C-3PO's ever discontinued? Star Wars has never not been popular. Kellogg's, take note: The Force Awakens opens in December. Bring this cereal back now.
Bonkers candies were shaped like bubble gum and they came in a package that resembled bubble gum packaging, but they weren't bubble gum! Isn't that fun? We loved Bonkers, but fierce competition from other chewy fruit candies like Starburst and Now and Later ultimately drove them off of shelves for good.
What evil corporate buzzkill nixed Cheez Balls? Planters' single best product was a staple of every party, picnic and cookout we ever had, and then they were just gone. Sure, we can still get generic-brand, knockoff, cheese ball snacks, but they're just not the same.