It'd be nice if American restaurants operated like dining establishments in most other places in the world, where the servers make enough money that they don't need to rely on tips, and they aren't expected. But here in the U.S., if you choose to dine out, prepare to give your hardworking servers the gratuity they're owed.
And don't fake it, either. That happened to reddit user tamiraisredditing, who detailed the harrowing journey of being scammed out of a tip, and getting instant revenge...
We had a guy come in last night with his date.
Throughout the evening he was the picture of courtesy and good manners. He complimented me, thanked me every time I came to refresh waters or check on the table, made a point to be forgiving of a kitchen mistake, super extra nice. The dream customer, really.
I appreciated it but didn’t delude myself that I was the source and figured he was just in a good mood because the date was going well— They were chatting, laughing, having a great time, so I assumed I was an indirect beneficiary.
He was certainly in some kind of celebratory mood because he was sparing no expense. He asked for our highest quality wine, she got our most expensive entree, he ordered one of every appetizer for her to sample when she made a remark that she was having trouble deciding, it was a real feast.
So the evening starts wrapping up and I get their check. I ask if they’ll be together or separate. She starts to say “Separate,” but he makes a big deal of saying, “Oh, are you kidding? Together, definitely together. You never have to pay when you’re with me babe,” and so on and so forth. Then slides me a credit card.
I get everything sorted and bring out the receipt. He fills it out and it came to $289.00 total.
He doesn’t even blink and makes a big show of leaving a $100 tip. He thanks me for my service and emphasizes what a lovely night they’ve had.
Of course, a tip that size is exceptional, so I thanked him profusely.
He said there was no need to thank him and goes on a big tear about how under appreciated waitstaff are and to just think of it as a stand-in for all the ingrates who didn’t treat me right, going, “Don’t plan to tip, don’t plan to eat out, you know?” Looking at the mesmerized girl the whole time and not giving me a glance.
I could care less where he was looking, I was looking at the upcoming hundred bucks. I thanked him again and said I hoped to see them back soon and that was that.
So he helps her into her coat and off they go. Great night, I was riding high.
About 90 seconds later he’s back in the door, without her, going “I think left my—“ then when the door shut and, looking to make sure she was out of ear shot, he goes, without the slightest shade of shame or embarrassment, “Mark the tip down to twenty bucks Hun, I was just playing it up for my date. You understand.” And turns to go.
Uh... I understood, but not how he hoped I would. But I couldn’t make a scene in the middle of work, that’s not my place, so I just said one more time in order to give his conscience a chance to sink in, “Ok Sir. You’d like to amend your tip from one hundred dollars to twenty dollars, is that correct?”
And even though I didn’t show a hint of displeasure in my voice he shot back, extremely hostile, “Yes, and if I see a cent over the twenty on there I’m going to dispute the whole meal with my credit vendor, so, don’t try to pull anything.”
The most frustrating part of this for me was not even going from an over 30% tip to under 10%, but rather that this poor girl was being strung along, with no idea of who the guy was behind her back. It was extremely manipulative of him which is a major red flag.
I’ve had my fair share of toxic relationships in the past and really wish someone had pulled the blinders off my eyes, so desperately wanted to do something to alert this girl to the trick the guy had pulled, hoping it would be a catalyst to her questioning his other actions.
But, again, I was at work and that just wasn’t my place. So I altered the bill and that was that.
Then, just in time, something occurred to me and I darted outside hoping to catch them in the parking lot.
I got lucky. They’d parked on the street instead and he was still dealing with the parking meter.
So, I flagged him down and rushed across the street, nearly stumbling into traffic in my haste for a delicious moment.
His date was already in the car but rolled down her window, since no one expects the waitress to follow you out to your car waving her arms like a crazy person.
I made it across and said, more than loudly enough for her to hear, “Sir, we amended your tip from $100 down to $20 as you requested, but you’ll actually need to fill out a different receipt reflecting your new total for our records. Your old receipt still has your original tip of $100 written on it, but since you just came in and asked us to charge you $20 instead, we can’t have a discrepancy in our records. I hope you understand. This is just a bookkeeping regulation that goes way above me. It has nothing to do with your retroactively downgrading your tip from $20 to $100, we’re just glad you enjoyed your evening.”
His jaw was on the floor. He tried to pretend as though he didn’t know what I was talking about, trying to give me some line about, “I think you’re after someone else, I’d only come back cause I’d forgot my keys.” But I would not let it rest.
The more he played dumb the more I repeated versions of “You wanted to change your tip from $100 down to $20, you came back in,” and on and on.
So we went back and forth for a few more seconds when finally he went, “Ok, whatever, uh, sorry for the miscommunication. If you need me to fill out a new receipt I can.”
And I, totally even keeled was like, “You only need to fill out a new receipt if you want to change your tip from $100 down to $20.”
And I’m guessing he didn’t have the money in his account because... he did it. He filled out the new receipt.
His girlfriend was visibly shocked and the man was staring daggers through me, you could feel the rage emanating off him.
It was vicariously quite satisfying in place of the other toxic men I never did get that confrontation with. And all the bad tippers.
Ironically the exact kind he made a righteous speech decrying just a few minutes beforehand.
And then off they drove, I’m sure never to patronize our restaurant again, but hopefully never to go out together again either, which would make it totally worth it.
So what did we learn from this story? Well, you should tip your server if they did a great job, because they earned it.
And if you need a reason beyond that, you should do it because if you don't, karma might get you. And as this tale showcased, sometimes karma strikes back immediately.
We all know the internet can be a nightmare, especially when it comes to online dating. But this story will restore your faith in the worldwide web, and humanity in general.
It all starts with Reddit user mymindisinborabora asked for some relationship advice pertaining to her awful boyfriend. And you know how desperate she must have been for advice if she was coming to Reddit for help. But they really pulled through on this one.
Thanks to everyone who reads this, I'll try to keep it short.
My boyfriend of 5 months just moved in with me three weeks ago. He had some problems with his apartment (damp walls) and it has to be renovated. As my roommate is currently spending some time abroad, I told him it would be ok if he stayed at my place for 4 to 6 weeks (he'll be able to move back to his own apartment by that time).
So, now we've been living together for three weeks and things started out great. Jealousy had been a bit of a problem between us because we often go out separately probably once a week but coming home to the same apartment helped him get over his (unjustified) jealousy.
Buuut there has been one new problem. Now, this may seem petty at first, but I'm really at my wits' end with this one. Ever since he moved in with me, things started disappearing and then reappearing one day later in the same place they were missing from. I'm talking about documents, small household items and food.
And it's not like "losing" keys and then finding them again somewhere, I specifically look for something in a certain place where it isn't, but is there the next day.
For example, I like to take a chocolate bar with me to work in the morning, and for that, I normally have a pack of chocolate bars at home. Shortly after he moved in with me, I woke up to find all the chocolate was gone.
I asked him about it, he said he didn't know anything about it. I come home just to find the chocolate bars are in the cupboard again! I ask him, he says he doesn't know anything about it. "Maybe you just didn't see them in the morning". We're talking about a large pack with about 12 chocolate bars, how can I not see that?
At first, I thought it was maybe some strange kind of humor, but he seems angry when I bring it up and it's starting to really piss me off, because sometimes, it's been items belonging to one of my friends that I wanted to give back to them and then couldn't, or it was certain documents I needed for a certain day.
Now, I have absolutely no idea what this is about. I am not crazy, I just don't understand AT ALL. He gets really angry when I talk about it, saying I'm making this up just to "cause drama".
Why should I? I have no idea what's going on. Any ideas?
I hope this doesn't get buried, but OP I have read what you wrote, and your responses to questions and I'm a little bit concered with the following.
Things appear to go missing are directly linked with you leaving the house. It's almost like he is trying to subtely stop you from leaving.
He is jealous of you going out with your single friends.
Him being angry that you think its too soon to introduce him to your family. He seems to be pushing the relationship to be serious quickly by using guilt.
These CAN be the warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship. These behaviors start small and insidious and esculate. I had a friend who started a relationship and her boyfriend hated the fact she hung out with me, as I was single and particpated in what he called 'slutty' activities, like hanging out with friends at bars and having males as friends. I was concerned about his level of jealously and apparent hate of her single friends and warned her. She seemed to think it was normal and was just a little insecure. She exited that relationship two years later and admitted to us all that he was physically and emotionally abusive.
I'm not saying everyone who is jealous is an abuser, but combined with other red flags, you should be cautious. Do not let him dictate who you can and cannot hang out with. Don't let him guilt you into doing things you are uncomfortable with. I will PM you an information sheet about abusive relationships. Please be wary and look at the situation with this new information OP.
The fact that he acts like you are crazy when you ask is the problem. The fact that he accuses you of trying to start drama is a problem. He wants something from you but won't articulate what it actually is.
You did mention there was a jealousy issue, I don't know if these are in any way connected but they could be. Bottom line is that you are seeing what he is like when you are living together and it is not good.
My heart hurts for you. I dealt with this. Everything was so great, perfect actually for the first 4 or so months, and then there was this huge freak out. He started trying to make me feel crazy. He still talked with his ex fiance, and would tell me he still loved her, but wanted me. (You know, the love takes a while to fade thing). I stupidly married him after dating for a year (and finally divorced after 3 1/3 years of marriage). What he was doing worked. He broke me down so much that I had no strength; no self worth anymore. Little things he would do included: stepping out of the room to talk to someone. He was in earshot (without me straining to ease drop).
He would tell his ex he much he loved her and missed her, and how I don't compare. He walked back into the room, said goodbye to her right before he turned the corner (so the phone was now in his hand hanging up), sat next to me and kissed me. When I got upset and brought it up, he said I was crazy, that he wasn't on the phone. Showed me his phone too, that he wasn't talking to her. It took me a long time to realize that he didn't talk to her, but he wanted me to think he had, and for me to think I was going crazy. He also used to hide stuff from me, saying I was forgetful. I eventually found a pile of things in his parents backyard storage...things I had "lost". I hope for your sake this isn't your case, but if it is, realize it sooner than later. It saves so much heartache.
After I read all about gaslighting I ordered a nanny cam. Unfortunately, the delivery took four days and after day one I already knew I couldn't be with him any longer. I wanted him out of the apartment asap and with as little drama as possible.
I told him that my roommate had gotten a really interesting job offer and would cut her vacation short and come home in a week, so he had to move out.
He was pretty angry, but I told him that there was nothing I could do. I also told him (as some of you suggested) that his landlord had to get him a place to stay and that he should call him. The next day, he told me that he had talked to his landlord and he could move back in his own flat on the following weekend.
The renovations had not taken as long as planned. At this point, I doubt the apartment ever had "damp walls" to begin with but who knows. In the evening he asked me if I wanted to move in with him because "it works so well" and "you don't like your roommate anyway" (I never even said that!). I told him sure, I would move in with him in June. He was pretty excited about it.
While I was waiting for the nanny cam to arrive, there was one incident when something went missing, a book that I had ordered for my dad over Amazon and wanted to bring him the next day (at least that's what I told my bf). Of course, in the morning, the book was gone. I chose to ignore it and he reacted quite strange to it, even asked me on my way out if I had taken the book with me (why on Earth would he ask that if he didn't expect a reaction from me?). I just asked: "What book?" "The book you wanted to bring your dad." "I don't know what you're talking about." In the evening, the book was on my desk again (of course!) and I ignored it again. Two hours later, he casually walks by my desk and says: "Ah, that's the book I was talking about!" I just said: "Oh, that book." He seemed pretty angry for the rest of the evening.
Two days later, the nanny cam finally arrived. I set it up while he was at the gym and again, when he was there, placed a letter I needed for work on my desk. I wasn't surprised at all when it was gone a few hours later and re-appeared the next day. When I finally was alone at home again and could check out the nanny cam evidence, I only saw what I already knew: he took the letter while passing the desk, put it in his gym bag and put it back a few hours later. However, as soon as I saw the "evidence", I decided against confronting him. To be honest, I was scared of his reaction and had already decided to break it off as soon as possible. Also, the camera didn't show me his motive and I figured he probably wouldn't tell me anyway.
However, it frustrated me very much that I would probably never know why he did it and on the last evening before he moved back to his "newly renovated" apartment, I told him I wanted to watch an old movie called Gaslight (Thanks for the tip everybody, it really is a great movie!)
He sat with me through the whole movie, but was quieter than usual while I talked the whole time about how unrealistic the movie was and that he was obviously insane. I actually expected some kind of reaction from him but he just sat there looking nervous.
On Sunday, he took all his stuff back to his apartment. My brother had organized someone to come and change the locks, and as soon as that was done, I wrote my bf a text telling him that it was over, I had no interest in being contacted again, that our break up was final and I thought it was very sad that he had to hide my things to keep the relationship interesting.
Since then, he called me more or less non stop but I haven't picked up and I won't.
I know, this isn't the most heroic or exciting ending, I could have confronted him with the video evidence but instead I cowardly broke up with a text message. However, I really didn't want to confront him and have a dramatic fight. I just wanted it to be over as soon and as smoothly as possible.
If there's anything I've learned from this, it's to not rush into a relationship. For the past 7 years, I've jumped from one LTR to the next and I think it's time to stay single for a while and concentrate on my college classes. For now, I'm going to stay at my brother's for two or three weeks and I should probably change my phone number. I'm sorry that I can't give you any insight on why he did it. It may have been cleptomania, a "prank" or messing with my stuff because something about me frustrated him. I will probably never know. In all the texts he's sent me it only says that he doesn't know what I'm talking about and he never took my things!