Marriage is supposed to be a joyous union between two people in love. The proposal is stressful, but when they say "yes" both sides should be happy. However, that wasn't the case in this story you're about to hear.
A redditor made a throwaway account to ask the community if he was the a**hole for how he reacted when his bride-to-be revealed she wasn't happy with her engagement ring. And, well... we and all of Reddit had some strong opinions on this one...
I told her that I had spent about $20,000 on it that I had been squirrling away for the last 10 years. (When I first started saving I was planning on building a kit car but when I started seriously considering proposing I decided it was worth spending the money on the ring.) She was initially floored that I had spent so much but later became suspicious that I had managed to get such a large stone (3.6 karats.) for the price, and asked to see the diamond certificate I got with the ring.
This reaction stunned me for a couple reasons. Firstly, I had always been open in my distaste for the natural diamond industry, and secondly because I had employed the assistance of her friends and mother and everyone agreed that she wouldn't care if the diamond was lab grown.
Over the last week I have explaned to her multiple times my reasons for going lab grown, (It is better for the environment, I know the exact origing of the stone, so I know it isn't a conflict stone, and ultimately it is better value for the money and I wanted to get her the most beautiful ring possible.) and that lab grown diamonds are in every way real diamonds and that they are also indistinguishable from natural ones unless you look at their certificate.
Yesterday she asked me if I would be willing to exchange it for a natural stone of equivalent value. Normally I would be happy to, but I spent months searching for the perfect ring for her and also, though value was the biggest reason for me, the idea of potentially getting a blood diamond really does sicken me.
Since then I have received multiple texts from her friends telling me to just acquiesce and exchange the ring (and, ultimately, I will if it means saving the relationship) but I just feel like this is something worth being firm on.
This is a pretty good sign of how the actual wedding and marriage will go imo. NTA. You're trying to look out for the world, if a "real" stone was that important to her, she probably would've brought up being against/wanting a lab created diamonds some point in your relationship. She's being picky and should've been happy about the ring, which btw, sounds gorgeous (and I commend your effort for looking into options for so long)
Keep being a dope person.
Also, I can't imagine asking my partner what they spent on a ring for me unless it was for insurance purposes or something like that. Idk. Maybe that's just me but it feels tacky as hell.
NTA - I can't understand why you'd want to be with someone who is willing to actually end a relationship over a non-conflict diamond that was given to her out of love and a hope for a future together. Mind boggling to me how much of an A H she is being. I can only imagine what else she demands or will demand from you going forward.