I had a new mechanic come In the shop out of orientation...so about 2 hours as an employee.
They sent home to me to show him some ropes in the shop.
What he didn't know is that im the owner/president/ ceo of the dealership ( heavy equipment and truck sales and service..380 employees) I spend 2 days a week in the shop, because that's what I like to do, and ..well..its my company, so I can.
Within the first 5 minutes, he questioned my expertise....OK, no biggie...he doesn't know who am or anything about me, so I tell him " don't worry yourself , there's only 1 guy here who has more experience than I do.." The next 5 minutes was him telling me I'm an idiot for doing something a specific way, and there's shortcuts I can take.( there is, but those shortcuts negate warranty payments)...so I tell him its a requirement to do it this way.
He rolls his eyes, then tells me" no one will ever know about it, and it'll help your flag hours " I reply," it is 100% about doing the right thing...and that's how we operate her...we do the right thing by the customer, the manufacturer, and the company"
Then he says " I do right by me...not the idiot CEO , so he buy a new truck every year"
So I said " well, my truck is 12 years old, and this is your last day of work....Hi there, I'm the Owner....that's my name on the big sign" nodded to the floor manager and told him to process him out of my company.
Total time on job, 2.5 hours.
Be careful out there people...not all bosses wear suits and hide in offices.
I worked in maintenance at a beach resort. One of the housekeepers managed to get her delinquent son a job as a "runner"...someone who would collect the dirty laundry after the housekeepers stripped the beds. She was actually worried when he started working because I guess he had a bad track record with other jobs. About three days after he started working, his mother confronted him about his new expensive-looking athletic shoes and a gold chain around his neck. He just shot back something about having a job now which didnt make sense because he hadnt even been paid yet. Anyway, about the same time there were a couple of reports at the front desk by guests who were missing large sums of money. A police report was made and people were questioned. So after only about four days this kid was fired and went to jail for stealing from guest rooms.
New guy, hired as quality control inspector after a lot of vetting. Job site was aluminum extrusions factory - lots of hot, sharp, and heavy things that can crush your hands and slice you up, not to mention all the moving parts. Shows up first day on the job reeking of beer.
"I was just celebrating my new job with my friends before work!" Refused the booze blow test at a nearby hospital. Paperwork completed and fired after 90 minutes by the supervisor and HR.
We had a guy start in London on a Monday as large contingent left for a a conference in Seattle later that week. I met him at Heathrow with his badge and laptop on his first morning and boarded the flight with him.
Longish story, but he ended up slapping a member of the flight crew because she wouldn’t let him sit in business class. I called HR when we landed and fired him in baggage claim. We paid for him to fly back to the UK next day.
I worked at a bill collection firm in the early 90's (don't judge me). A guy started working there, went through the 2 days of training , then started working. After about an hour, he got up and left. Didn't say "I quit." Didn't say "this job isn't for me." Didn't say "f**k you." He just got up to go to the bathroom, went through the front door and drove away. It took the managers a few hours to figure out that this guy got the job with a fake name, and erased his own debt on the computer.
Our ceo rarely sent all-company messages unless there was great news or some major event/holiday/emergency etc. One day he sends an email reminding everyone something about an extra day off everyone earned hitting a major deadline and how and when to use it.
New woman in accounting - looked like a nice 50 something Dallas church lady, hits the reply-all and writes “I suppose we all should bow down to Mr. Generosity for the measly day off.” Meanwhile she never worked on the project or was affected by long hours.
When she realized what she did, the other finance people in her area heard a gasp come from her desk and without saying a word to anyone, she picked up her purse, took a box, added her personal items, and walked out the door to her car never to be seen again.
I used to train new hires at a warehouse. We have a floor for robots to zoom around on, full of merchandise and cold spite. Only certified technicians may set foot on that floor. The rest of us? Instant termination if we do it. We stress this frequently throughout orientation.
I'm training a group of new hires at a work station. It's their first night. Not even lunch yet. One of our managers comes over to introduce himself. One guy, who has already been copping an attitude, asks him about stepping on the floor. Manager reiterates what we all told everyone: Do it, and you're fired.
Guy: "You mean don't do this?" puts one foot on the floor
And away he goes. I heard the rest of the new trainees laughing over how stupid he was. He was even whining about it the whole time his termination was being processed.
I'm just glad I didn't get stuck training that snotty, dimwitted little pain in the ass for two days.
When I worked at Babies 'R Us many years ago, a fine young lad wrote on the break room white board, "F**k b**ches, hire dimes." For some reason it escaped him that there are cameras pretty much everywhere. Done after maybe three days on the job.
3 1/2 hours. She started the same day as me. Part way through the morning I told a couple of jokes to break the ice. She said she had a couple of good ones and started off with "What do you call a n****r who...." She went for lunch and never returned.
A number of years back I worked at an inbound call center that also had an upsell side to it. A new guy fresh out of training was bragging about how he did over 10 x the monthly goal in his first week alone. Didn't see him the following week and heard he was laid off because he was upgrading everyone's plans who called in to the highest costing plan without their consent or informing them.
About a week or two later I got a text from him asking if I could be his reference for a new call center job he got. He somehow got a hold of a bunch of our numbers and just spammed everyone asking for a reference.
Many years ago we hired a line cook that had a decent amount of experience. He started on steak night.
First steak, undercooked.
Third try, undercooked
Fourth try, cow was still mooing when it came off the grill.
FOH manager goes to head chef, tells him to kick him off the line, so he does. His new job was to replace me on the sauté station.
First order he gets is for a side of asparagus, so he puts the asparagus into the hot pan, and adds enough oil to deep fry them. Well, he goes to turn them, oil escapes, hits the fire, and started a fire. He went to grab water, and if not for my head chef stealing the cup, we might have had a bigger fire.
Just like that, gone. Turns out all his previous jobs were real places, but his supervisors were just friends who lied.
Call centre worker, new beginner came in hungover as s**t on the 1st day of the job.
Within 2 hours of their shift, they struggled to look at a computer for more than 10 minutes, couldn't form a coherent sentence, walked away from the desk without a word only to just full on faceplant in the floor of the office.
I'm sure the actual termination took longer, but it was obvious they lost their job the moment they walked in like a zombie.
The place I worked at had a required two weeks of training they they were very upfront about. You were given a schedule ahead of time and had to agree you could make it before being hired. Day one saw one person fired for leaving part way through the day. Day 4 saw another person leaving because she didn't like it.
Day 8 was a testing day to see what areas, if any, the class needed to spend more time on before moving to the in-person stuff with a trainer on the floor. A question was worded poorly and it caused a lot of confusion. The trainer said he would not count the question as many of us got it wrong due to its ambiguity. One of the girls in the training class told him "good, you should remove it or else no one would have found your body tomorrow". HR manager was literally standing in the doorway while that was being said and freaked out because threatening to murder a co-worker over a test question is the opposite of professional. Needless to say, that girl was told she wasn't the right fit for the company.
Saw a posting for a hostess at a local Chinese food buffet in town and got an interview the same week and started the week after.
First day I go in and it’s a Saturday. The head hostess was showing me all the ropes, while telling me how much of a hardass the owner was and to say yes or no answers only if she addressed me.
Behind the counter where we would grab our menus and silverware was two mini fridges side by side laying flat so it was no taller than my knees on the bottom shelf & they held all the alcoholic beverages, but it also held all of the employee drinks.
Customers are coming and going and I have this system where id just reach down and grab a beer and the owner flutters around and puts her drink in the mini fridge directly under me. I didn’t think anything of it until it was time for the next customer to want a beer so I go to grab a beer and full blown smacked the owners drink into the fridge and all over the floor so when I said “omg I’m so sorry” the owner came around the counter and told me to go home. I told her I’d clean it up but she told me no. I honestly felt like crying.
Total was around 4 hours, I didn’t even make it past the lunch rush. Very embarrassing & never got paid for that either.
Showed up early to work on her first day to eat. We worked at Firehouse subs, and she came in with Subway and started eating in the lobby while in uniform. The boss asked her nicely to eat in the back so customers wouldn't see. She started screaming and throwing a fit so boss told her to leave and not come back. Idk if you can really even say she got fired. She never clocked in once.
I was intern at a startup out of college along with three other interns. One guy was set up at a computer kinda out of the way and apparently that was the greenlight he needed to look up some porn. Anyone who's ever been an intern will tell you that someone is usually coming over to ask you for something or if you need help and sure enough, the dude was caught looking at porn by our boss. He was walked out around 11 AM so he managed a solid two hours of porno before getting caught.
I worked in construction for eight years. Guys would quit all the time but the fastest was this kid named Austin. Austin was rail thin and wouldn't stop looking at his phone. Our boss told him to run a wheelbarrow full of dirt to a pile and he sighed before trudging over to it. The kid moved that wheelbarrow maybe fifteen feet, set it down and started looking at his phone again. Boss asked him what he was doing and he said it was "too hard" and he was calling his girlfriend to pick him up. Austin lasted a grand total of five minutes.