I'm banned from a cafe in a town in North Wales; neither of which I'd been to prior to this experience. I walked in and the guy behind the counter said "You! I've told you before! You're banned!" I said, confusedly "I've never been here before", but he just pointed at the door, so I turned around and left. Almost 30 years ago.

Stilletto_Rebel

I was banned from a bar I worked at, the same night I got fired.

The owners wife had a friend, who had her bachelorette party at the bar. The bar had hired me because they had already been in LOTS of legal trouble for overserving and other bad things (someone was sexually assaulted in the girls bathroom, they needed a woman that could walk in and check on things).

I saw the man sitting at the bar, wearing his winter jacket indoors where everyone else was wearing their "desperate for a lay" skimpy clothes. I noticed the badge that he wore on his belt, mostly hidden. I was doing my job the way I was supposed to.

I cut off a super intoxicated man, after he threw up all over the place. Turns out, he was part of the little party the owners wifes friend was having. She screamed at me in front of staff and customers. She fired me and banned me from the bar for life. I smiled and left, knowing what would happen.

As they had already had multiple warnings, they were 1 warning away from being shut down. Guess what happened? Yup, psycho washed off the X's I had put on drunkys hands, and told the waitress to serve him anyway. Cop busted them for intentional overserve, they lost their liquor license AGAIN and got a huge huge fine. That was the last day they were open. They had to sell the place.

That life time ban? Well, the bar died that night, so turns out it was for the life of the bar, not my life. I was back in there as soon as the new owners had their grand opening.

indigowulf

My uncle got us banned from a mom and pops dinner in the 90's. The unintended but totally foreseeable consequence of doing their "eat a 72oz steak in under an hour" six goddamn times in two weeks. I know for a fact he does not regret it.

Darklliter

I was banned for life from attending Late Night with David Letterman because I cancelled my reservation. I guess it was hard to find people for the audience in freaking New York City? The intern (I assume) who I talked to was very serious: “You should know if you cancel you will never be allowed back. Ever!”

Somehow I got over it.

snizuitz

My college roommate got permabanned from Target for putting Wet Floor signs next to the 50 Shades of Grey display.

ChillinInChernobyl

The prison I used to work at.

I had tried numerous times to receive therapy to treat PTSD I gained while working the job and thanks to the HR taking their vacation was not able to get it and the administrative assistant warden told me, quite literally, "officers don't need therapy and if they do then they aren't cut out to be officers" and refused to help me find help.

When they learned (somehow) that I had sought therapy on my own, they attempted to place me on "indefinite administrative leave" citing "officer has conducted themselves in a manner unfitting their position"

So yeah. I sued them and quit and they banned me for life... from their prison.

Okay.

TheRavingRaccoon

Went to a holiday resort, got my whole family banned for life.

Went to the kids play room, did not properly clean up the legos.

Manager, instead of cleaning up legos, reviewed the security footage of all kids entering the play room and discovered me. Then reviewed the front desk footage for the last week until he saw the family. Then looked at the check in records to discover which condo we were in. Then phoned our condo mid dinner and demanded we all front the front desk right now.

At the front desk, the manager explained what I did, and pointed to a sign listing many rules about the playroom. Mum told me off and sent me to clean the legos, I said to the manager"sorry, I forgot.", and went to clean up the legos. Something about this pissed the guy off. He said not to, because we are now banned and had to leave. Mum seemed to think that was unreasonable, and refused to leave without a refund.

The manager became unhinged threatened to call the police, then started accusing me of killing a duck. Mum looked at me in fright, I said "no way, you know I would not do that". She questioned the man for further details. He said I threw a stone and hit a flying duck, which fell into the lake, so there is no body. She expressed doubt about the story. He then started making up some other weird accusations, something about sex with another boy.

We got out of their the next day. I never forgot to clean up legos again in my life.

PM_UR_REBUTTAL

Got banned from a John Lewis (kinda upscale retail gaff in the uk) for browsing items. This was pre covid too. The jobsworth of a guard came up and told me to leave since I was and I quote "just picking stuff up and putting them back again" like no s**t sherlock thats how browsing in a physical store works. So now I'm banned from John Lewis

AFalconNamedBob

I was banned from a grocery store for shop lifting when I was a kid. I ended up working there like a year or 2 later.

Somewhatadequatev7

Got banned from my highschool library, while I was in school still mind you. Used the computer there to email mom that I didn't have practice that night and would need a ride home. Librarian didn't like that because I wasn't doing research. She ordered me to stop, I told her, "no, I need to make sure mom knows about today.", and finished sending the email. She screamed at me the whole way while I was walking out about how I am never allowed back, basically told her, "good, wasn't planning on coming back here again anyways."

Stouty22

Planet fitness I tried to cancel my contract (this was the 10$ plan which said I could cancel anytime) with them and they said I had to pay 150$ to cancel for god knows that reason. I called my bank to tell them to not let them withdraw from my account since they had my checking account information. My bank said they have multiple situations happen with planet fitness about their Unusual financial practices. 2 months later I got a letter from planet fitness saying I’m banned from ever signing up with them again. Planet fitness is a POS corporation.

Manati_banzai

the local liquor store in my old neighborhood never had a ding dong that went off as people came in and out of the store. I would crawl into the store mission impossible style and steal nudie magazines from the front counter where you would normally find candy bars and such. The day I got caught, a quarter had rolled off the counter and onto the floor where I was and the owner came around the corner to pick it up and picked me up by my shirt and threw me out. He never said i was banned, but i never went back due to being embarrassed as hell....

snodnif

I stole some cd’s from Best Buy when I was 13. I’ve gone back a million times since my ban. Never stole anything ever again though.

Flippant_Robot

I got drunk off of other people's drinks and announced on a microphone that I felt God at this Chili's.

DMike82

In college, at the local college book store, I attempted to sell some books back to the store. After hearing what the buyback value was, a guy behind me said he'd pay $20 more for my books (he was taking the same course the next semester sand the store's mark up would by 100%). The bookstore owner warned me if I sold to this other dude, I'd be banned for life. I told him money makes the world go round and took my extra twenty.

Complicated_Business

I had just paid for a dress in Forever 21 and noticed one of the seams was ripped as the cashier was bagging it up. I pointed it out and asked if I could just exchange it for one that wasn’t damaged.

The cashier hit a button on the register to print my receipt and slid it across the counter to me with a nasty smile as she recited their strict return policy. I can’t remember the bulls**t reason she gave, but she refused to exchange the item.

It had been a long week. I didn’t even think before I reached out and swiped all these little containers filled with cheap items off her counter. Thousands of keychains, nail files, thongs, earrings and a bunch of other items flew across the floor. The cashier immediately lost her mind and started screaming about how long it was going to take her to sort them all out.

I was already at my car when mall security caught up with me to let me know I was banned from the store.

Dyllis_Philler

There was a roller rink in town that posted on social media that they were having a deal on handmade pizzas and a pitcher of soda to try and drum up business.

The picture clearly showed a digiorno pizza and I commented saying that it was. My comment was deleted, and then I went back to say, “you deleted my comment saying that this is a digiorno pizza.”

RIP stakeland memories of I’d have ever wanted to go.

PappyLongstlkngs

In 2001 or whenabouts I got banned from the small Chinese carry-out restaurant next door to the Blockbuster video in Zachary, LA. I had just started dating a girl and her mom offered to buy us carryout for dinner if we went to pick it up. She wrote down the order and handed it off to us and away we went.

When I got to the front of the line I produced the slip of paper only to see it said s**t like "flied lice" and "don't forget the ching-chong chopsticks". I was flummoxed when I saw all this and the cashier assumed I had trouble reading, snatched the list from me and began to read it. A few seconds later they were yelling at me to get out and never to come back.

I wonder if their sesame chicken was any good.

Worlds_Best_Coffee

I snored in a hostel in Germany. Apparently I am now banned from Germany. At least that is what some random dude told me in Germany. I am not sure this is binding, but i don't want to chance it.

Kokobwarewolf

Technically I've been banned from Walmart for life. Literally like almost like 25 years ago now lol I went into a Walmart, with the intention on stealing a video game out of the computer game section. This was in the early 90s. I grabbed the game I was going to steal, walked around the store with it looking for a place where I could actually do the deed, and got too scared and changed my mind. I ended up just leaving the game on a random shelf and leaving the store. On my way out, I guess the security guard? I don't know, it was some dude dressed in regular clothes, came over and started screaming at me "Where's the game CD?" And I very accurately told him "what game CD?" He didn't like that at all. He demanded to search pockets, and me being like 10 or however old I was let him do it. All he did was touch the sides of my pockets though. When he realized I didn't have anything, he got even more angry and just said "I don't want to see you in here ever again".

reddit

I just got a self imposed banned from Russia, apparently you can't just leave a car there otherwise you get a very strongly worded letter from the government. Not being able to afford £20k fine and I'm too busy to be imprisoned I think ill just avoid going back.

acidus1

The big outdoor amphitheater in St Louis. There was a Pearl Jam show back in 98 my buddy and I went to. We had extra tickets so he held our place in line while I went to sell the extra tickets. Apparently, even if you're selling rhem for below face value its considered scalping there. They had me get in the back of a pickup truck and drove off somewhere, wrote me up but didn't fine me, took the tickets in my pockets but not the one I had hidden in my sock, took me to the front entrance, and said if I ever came back again for any reason I'd be arrested for trespassing.

I watched them drive away, cut through the parking lot, found my friend in line, switched shirts and took off my hat and glasses, walked in right past the sheriff that said he'd arrest me, and went to one of the best shows I'd ever seen.

rhett342

Sears, I stole a pair of sunglasses 40 years ago

roadrobber

I was banned from a locally owned breakfast buffet as a kid for eating something like 6 really big plates and cleaning the place out of bacon at only 9 a.m.

WitchoftheSword

Got banned from a Minecraft server.

I spent a lot of time making this really cool castle, but I guess I built it in some kind of common area where you aren’t supposed to build. It wasn’t marked and there were no messages telling me this. Well, the admin saw it overnight and deleted the whole thing. I was livid... so the next time I logged on I built this giant 3-d “F**k you” out of blocks. Right as I’m finished, the admin’s player character comes flying out of the sky over to me and says,

“Hibernatepaths, I saw what you did.”

I said, “It’s ok, I wanted you to see.”

Then I got permabanned. I laughed my ass off for a good long time.

hibernatepaths