My sister and I were on holiday together recently and very drunk one night when we got back from the bar. Naturally we started drinking more because we were on holiday. She has the ice cube tray in her hand. Opens the window simultaneously and loses her focus and drops the tray five floors to the street, hitting a big guy square in the dome. He looks up and started screaming and shouting in Italian (I live in Rome so I understood he was calling us some bad, bad names). We just closed the window and continued drinking while we could hear this man shouting he was going to come up there and rip our heads off...

Please never find me Mr scary Italian man.

tevensopr

That this child isn't actually my bastard, but my sisters son, whose dad passed away.

reddit

In 5th grade i cheated on an exam. My buddy and i were the only two people in the grade who got this particular question correct, but i copied him. The worst part was he was considered 'dumb' while i was at the top of the class, so the teacher was convinced that he copied me and he ended up getting suspended.

fffeeesssrr

The real reason I don't talk to my mum is because she called me at 3am one day, after she'd had a fight with her boyfriend and I had to run to her house and wrestle the pill bottle out of her hand to stop her from trying to kill herself by OD'ing again. She refused to get help, we'd had her committed several times, and I couldn't handle to burden, at 19, of being the one physically stopping her.

Throwaway74514849565

I saw my friends nipple when I looked down her bra the other night whilst nursing her sunburnt shoulders and back

stingray20201

One night I woke up with my mind in a twist, my mom was in the hospital at the time, I had a crazy urge to call them and check on her, but I reasoned not to because I couldn't think of an excuse so I fell back to sleep. 5am I get a call that they checked on her and she didn't have a pulse, I just think there was something I could have done that destroys me to even think about it.

elindapo

I am the one that put the hole in the wall of the upstairs bedroom

MirtaGev

I always tell my wife how much I love her makeup that day.

I hate it. I wish she would stop wearing it but it makes her happy so I decide to lie.

MUFFINCSGO

One time I sucked a dude's d**k for Beatles originals on vinyl.

Still don't regret it everytime I listen to Rubber Soul or Help!, yet I get the faint taste of n*t in my mouth.

reddit

My ex only gave me 3 orgasms in 2 years. I faked about 5-10 every time we had sex. I told him once that I had faked "some" and he didn't seem too disappointed but I didn't have the heart to tell him the real number. I don't really care about getting off. It's hard enough for me to do it on my own and I don't expect anyone else to take that responsibility. But he is a good guy and told me once that because of me he has more confidence in bed. So I will never tell anyone this.

memes-and-margaritas

One time in middle school, I asked to borrow my friend's pen for a moment to write something down. He was pulled out of the room for something a second later, and I just forgot that it was his pen. When he returned to the room, the teacher chewed him out for not having a pen on him. And I think he forgot that he gave it to me as well.

I still feel guilty as f**k about it.

Plus side, I'm the godfather to his son now. I shall seek redemption in his time of need.

Black_Hipster

The only reason I married my first wife was based completely on a lie.

We were taking some time apart because she realized she still had feelings for an ex. I knew the relationship wouldn't really work long term, we were young and too different; but the thought of that rejection was too much for my egotistical mind to bear.

I was driving and crying one night and ditched my car on a country road, my face slamming into the steering wheel in the process. I instantly had a huge bruise, and when I saw her next I told her someone walked up to me and hit me in the face while telling me to stay away from her. She bought it, and we got back together.

I later proposed to her because, and I quote my internal monologue, "if I were willing to lie like that, I probably loved her." Obviously, she cheated again, emptied our accounts and vanished. After she left, I was destroyed and sank into a decade long depression, became an alcoholic and basically tried to suicide via poor choices.

In a way, I sort of deserved that Dear Bigsie letter and have no idea how to reconcile that fact with myself.

bigsie

When I was 10, I walked in on my mom and stepfather having sex, standing up. Their backs were toward the door so I just quietly backed out and never said a word about it. That was 40 years ago.

NoZiggedy

I wasn't aloud to eat ice cream from creepy ass Giovanni but only from Sam the ice cream man. Well one time I took like 5 Deutsche Mark and went on a mission to get some Giovanni icecream. I saw his pink ghetto ass van and heard his music, I knew what to do next. Going up to that dudes van was creepy as hell. Dude looked liked uncle fester but with hair. So after being frightened I made my decision and decided upon a scoop of hazelnut icecream. That icecream was bomb af. I ate that icecream and told no one. NOOONE. Not my mama. Not anyone. Hand to god Sam the ice cream man asked me if i ate giovannis ice cream. How did he know??? How??? So that was the last time I ever ate that dudes tasty ice cream. thats my secret. Giovannis ice cream is bomb but i still ain't tellin nobody.

shegoeswiththeflow

My dad cheated on my mum with her sister when I was born (my aunt moved in to help my mother with the newborn i.e. me). My mother told me while she was drunk at a dinner party, and started it all off with "You know, I know I sometimes sound like I hate you, but there's a reason..." So, even though I love both of my parents, I secretly think they're both pretty awful excuses for human beings. My dad for obvious reasons, my mother for holding it all against me.

emmastone11

My dad was having a heart attack in front of me and my mother, she yelled at me to go get help but I froze in fear. He later died which caused my mother to become addicted to prescription pain killer and then killed herself while my brother also killed himself a year later.

ignezio

My friend in 8th grade called me before he killed himself and told me it was my fault. If I called his mom sooner instead of feeling sorry for myself and for him he might still be here

IWishIWasMoreClever1

Well for a while last year i was planning on killing myself, with a note typed out on google docs, how to leave the rest of my room to be the least inconvenience to my family, etc.

Doing much better now, went on antidepressants, weaned myself off, just trying to land a job so i can actually get started with my life. Feeling good about the future :)

CptBarbosa

in 7th grade, me and my friend simon got the password for the admin accounts on our classroom's computer and our teacher always came in late so we would just change our grades whenever we got to class before him and the door was unlocked. i'm pretty sure this is what got me into a really good high school because i rarely did homework, but I usually knew the material.

pistolaz_

I "stole" my dad's expensive stamp collection because my family was fighting over it. I'm safekeeping it until everyone who fought over it is dead and turning it into a family heirloom.

Laugh_With_Me

I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa — and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

highasakite14

My dad had bowel cancer, he fought it for a few years but we eventully realised that the chemo was losing.

They set up to make him comfortable, this included one of those little automatic dosage machines that hopped him up on morphene every so often so he wasn't in pain. By the end he could barely speak, couldn't move, his stomach was distended because he hadn't shit in... f**k I can't even remember how long.

Close to the end the morphene would become less effective faster than the doctors/ nurses could come around to up the dose, it was so distressing for my mum hearing my dad in pain that the nurse showed her how to increase the dose on the machine herself in case he woke up in pain.

Me and my sister are pretty sure that the night he died, after we had all said good night to him, my mum increased his dosage... quite a bit higher than she should have done. Nothing was ever said, by my mum, the nurses or the doctors, but we're pretty sure... If she did do it, I understand why and I don't blame her, I'm actually quite glad because my dad was suffering, and it was just f**king awful to see him in so much pain and not be able to do anything.

T_throwaway_secret

That I hate all my f**king friends for not inviting me anywhere and my cycles of sudden realization that nobody cares about me except for my family.

_AISP

When I was younger I was at my friends house sledding. He had to leave with his family but I kept sledding. I lost control and ran over a baby pine tree they had planted earlier in the year. A tree they had planted in remembrance of my friends grandma passing away that year. I had snapped the tree when I hit it. So I just stuck it in the snow and left. Weeks later and it warms up enough that the snow melts and the tree falls over. They were devastated when they discovered their tree was broken with no explanation how it happened.

PM_YOUR_REAR_PY

I was giving my cat a belly rub and it j**zed all over my hand.

Pughara