So, there was this time during my med school days, when I was going through my family medicine rotation, that I was assigned to see this middle-aged lady. She was coming in with the common complaint of sinus congestion. To be quite honest, I could tell from the get-go that she was really dealing with some serious blockage, you know? Her voice was all nasally like she was speaking through a sponge.
Everything about her, from the history she gave to the exam I ran, was indicative of a classic case of viral upper respiratory infection. Pretty straightforward stuff, right? So, I start giving her the low-down on how she can manage this at home and alleviate the symptoms.
In the middle of our chat, she suddenly looks at me and asks, "Do you think it might be the flu?" Now, I considered her question seriously. "Well, it's not impossible," I responded, "but it's unlikely, especially given that it's out of the typical flu season." For context, this happened in June, a time when flu is about as common as a snowball in the Sahara.
She seemed to ponder my answer for a moment, then nodded slowly. "Yeah, I guess I wasn't sure it was the flu. I've been spraying Lysol everywhere, you see, and it doesn't seem to be doing any good, even though it says it kills the flu virus." At this point, I was pretty impressed with her proactive approach.
I replied encouragingly, "Well, at least you're doing something to disinfect the house, which can help prevent the virus from spreading." But then, she kinda frowned, looked a bit frustrated, and said, "I guess, but I just wish it didn't burn so much." Now, hold on a minute. "Burn?" I echoed, a bit taken aback. "What do you mean, 'it burns'?" And then came the revelation that almost made me go weak at the knees.
This patient, bless her heart, confesses, "You know, when I spray it up my nose, it burns so bad." And that, my friends, is when I had to bite my tongue to not burst out laughing. My patient thought that since Lysol kills influenza, the most effective way to nip a possible flu in the bud was by flushing her sinuses with it, like you would with a saline spray.
And, just in case you were wondering, no, it did not work. Not even a little. The fact that I managed to maintain my professional demeanor and not fall over laughing right there and then is, to this day, the greatest feat of composure in my entire career. I had to seriously counsel her against ever doing that again.
I remember that moment very clearly, because it demanded the greatest act of professional composure in my entire medical career. I had to suppress the urge to laugh out loud at the absurdity of the situation. Instead, I put on my most serious face and sternly advised her against ever trying something like that again.
The things you see in med school, am I right? It was quite the experience.
/SRA6815/