Ah yes, parenting. Aging you ten years every day for the rest of your life. @alyceoneword
Hey mom. Let's face it. You are now Captain Poop. @oldkidsbooks
GO TO SLEEP SO MOMMY CAN HAVE A GLASS OF WINE, PLEASE!!!! @alyceoneword
Hey, we hate to be the bearer of bad news but your kid just peed on the floor. @parenting_like_a_boss
Your child's brain is going to grow a little bigger, right? Right? @thedad
One minute they are having the meltdown of a lifetime. The next minute they are casually singing "The Wheels On The Bus." @alyceoneword
Are there hidden cameras? Is this a joke? Am I being PUNK'D? @cynicalparent
Someone please tell us if their brains are going to get bigger, already!! @parenting_like_a_boss
They are so adorable until a camera is involved. Then they are a a total goober. @howtobeadad
WHEN WILL THEY LEARN THAT THE CRUST IS AMAZING?! Actually just hand it over and we will take care of it. @themotheroctopus
For all the carrying we are doing, why don't we look like a bikini competitor? @badparentingmoments
Hand over the Hazmat suit, we are going in. @howtobeadad
Can you please just listen to your mother? When will you learn that she is always right? @mum_probs
Cue toddler throwing all of those apples on the floor. Then cue you blowing on them and eating them. #momlife @Qoftwignberry
Your baby talk has turned into adult talk and there really isn't anything that you can do to stop it. @parentnormal