The older you get, the more people treat you like a child. We watch the elderly's every move in order to make sure they don't fall or injure themselves. So imagine sitting on a plane next to this guy. You are already worried about turbulence and your own life, and now you have to worry about this old man? The problem is, you don't know him well enough to poke him and wake him up and see if he is okay. All you can do is take deeps breaths to calm your own nerves and pray that he is only asleep.
Hey ladies! Are we ready to close that gender pay gap yet!? Well, here is some good news for you. It will close eventually, YAY! The bad news? It may not close for another 118 years. Are you shocked? Yea me too. Can we please speed up the process. Thank you!
Pasta and ketchup? Now this is shocking. Every deceased Italian is currently rolling around in their grave right now. How dare you take something sacred like pasta and pair it with ketchup? You should be ashamed of yourself!
Oh, you wanted to taste that delicious Coke that you just bought? You are thirsty and wanted to quench your thirst? Well, too bad. You are going to have to suffer. No hole for you means no Coke for you.
Well, that is quite an impressive wing span. Wouldn't you be freaked out if that thing was chasing you down? It can outrun you and it can fly over you. This thing could literally pick her up and peck her eyes out. Yeah, no thank you.
Can you blame this kitty cat for being all shook up? First of all, they are a cat, not a bunny. Can't you tell the difference!? Second of all, they just woke up from a nap and now you are poking them and torturing them. Third of all, that bow on their head has got to go. Also, pink is clearly not her color.
What happened here? Is this some sort of sick joke? A conspiracy? She ordered Chicken McNuggets and you gave her this piece of melted cheese? This is sick, I tell you, sick! It's a sad world we live in.
I scream, you scream, we all scream in terror over this ice cream mishap. This is a tragedy. And what is even more unfortunate is that you can't even use the five-second rule with ice cream because it's far too melty and messy.
This guy's wife went out of town and hid all the toothpaste, forcing him to use this bacon-flavored tube. How gross! Do you know what is even worse than bacon-flavored toothpaste? This guy is a vegan. Damn, his wife is a monster.
This mom had every right to be scared when she heard the news that a young man was shot. This son had every right to be shocked when his mother didn't know his age. Damn, mom. You birthed him and you don't know how old he is?
Who is more shocked? The idiot who thinks it's appropriate to hold a shark? Or is it the shark that can't believe this dummy had the balls to pick him up. I hope that shark gives him a little nibble that he will never forget. When I say nibble, I mean I hope he rips his arm off.
Imagine that you are peeing in a porta potty and all of a sudden, you are getting knocked around with your pants around your ankles. Then something starts smashing into you so hard, you topple over. When they finally make it out of the porta potty, you see that a hot air balloon is responsible for the madness! Talk about a shock!
Someone put this fake $50 in the collection plate at church. Damn, if you don't want to put money in, don't put money in. This is a bit much don't you think? To have fake bills made, then pay for them and then carry them around with you... Whoever did this has way too much time on their hands.