Fact: If you are super in love, you and your significant other are disgusting behind closed doors. You would never want people to see what you do together when you are alone. The picking, popping, farting and the baby talk... it's all beyond gross. Here are 14 super gross couple things that you definitely do but that you'd never admit to your single friends.
Your partner has a booger in their nose? You are right there to come to the rescue! What is wrong with that? You aren't going to let them walk around with a bat in the bat cave! If you're single, then you probably think this is disgusting and you aren't wrong. It's totally foul and us gross couple people should own it!
For some reason, when you love someone, you love their stench. You love your partner's stinky body. It's like loving your dog's breath. And not only do you love it, but you love going in for a big sniff. Ew, love is gross.
When you are cohabitating, you will find that you often pee in front of one another. She's on the toilet, while he is in the shower. She is brushing her teeth, while he is taking a wee. While some may say that this is a no-no, I say this is just multitasking and being efficient.
Your partner has an errant chin hair and it's your lucky day because you now get to pick it! You are dying to get rid of that long nose hair or eye brow hair that has gone rogue. It is so satisfying to pluck a hair from your loved one's back, isn't it?
The same goes with popping pimples. You love popping their pimples because it is just so damn satisfying. That is true love right there... or just a sick habit. If you're comfortable popping your bae's back or butt pimple, it's a sign you two are super close.
You wake up in the morning and the first thing that you want to do is kiss them. So, what do you do? You kiss them! You kiss them with coffee breath, post-workout breath and after-work breath. Sure, a mint would be nice and you are happy to pop one in when you get the chance, but bad breath isn't going to stop you from sucking face. Sorry, not sorry.
A shower would be nice when you're at your most smelly, but there is something primal about doing it when you are a little dirty. Getting dirty while you are dirty! Hey, you are going to get stinky during sex anyway, so you may as well own it!
If you love popping pimples, you probably love this one, too. Sometimes there is nothing more rewarding than picking at an ingrown hair. Oh, wait. Yes there is. Picking at your boo's ingrown hair. I know you are judging me right now, but don't knock it till you try it!
You know it's best to let it mellow, so you are happy to leave your pee in the toilet. Listen, they have already seen you at your absolute worst. They have seen you do the weirdest things in the world, so it's not a big deal for them to see a bit of pee in the toilet. Plus, it's good for the environment and everyone should be onboard with it anyway.
We are constantly cleaning up each other's hair. As a girl, our hair falls out in the shower, so our partners are going to have to pull it out of the drain when it inevitably gets clogged. And men like to shave and leave their hair in the sink. Cleaning up your partner's hair is just part of living with someone you love. Gross but true.
While I don't think that it's great to just let it blow all day every day, you have to let them slip out every once in a while. This goes for burping as well. You can't hold it in every single time. It isn't good for your body. And you're only human!
They have seen you in your biggest, saggiest and holiest underwear. Your granny panties are a part of who you are and you aren't afraid to flaunt it. If they want to be with you, they need to love everything about you. Including your holy underwear.
Behind closed doors, you are mushy and gushy and if anyone saw it they would want to vomit. You have pet names for each other like Boo Bear and Baberoonie and Babeskie and Lovie and Pickle and Monster and Meow Meow and the list goes on and on. What do you call your other half? I bet it's gross.
You say "I love you" a trillion times a day. You call them to tell them how much you love them and then 2 minutes later you text them to tell them that you still love them that much. You kiss them 50 times in a row while telling them how obsessed you are with them. It is beyond disgusting, but sometimes that is what loves looks like, baby!