Let's face it. When we were younger and it was time to learn about Art History, there was nothing fun about it. Well now, thanks to the internet, medieval art is freakin' hilarious! Art history memes are popping up all over Twitter and they are so good it hurts. Like this Grindin' In The Club Meme. We've all been there. You're dancing in the dark club with your beer goggles/vodka goggles/ Schnapps goggles and it's last call and they turn those lights on and... BAM! It's like something out of a horror movie.
Today we have Netflix and Chill, but back in the day they had Poem and Chill. No offense to you poetry nerds out there, but Netflix and Chill sounds way more exciting. Watching some dude read poems to himself does not a good date make.
A cold pillow leads to a cold heart. You are sound asleep and cozy. All cuddled up in your nice, warm bed. You flip the pillow away and your whole world turns upside down. It's dark and sad and cold. Oh, so cold.
Jesus did a lot of great things. He went above and beyond to teach, inspire and take care of people. So, if he is getting an excused absence, he is going to take it. WWJD? Take some personal time for himself. Jesus, he deserves it.
There you are, driving down the highway. The band Train is blasting on the radio. There are drops of Jupiter in your hair (hey hey hey hey hey hey. Hey hey hey hey hey hey). All you want is to sail across the sun and fall from a shooting star. As you look out the window, you think about the Milky Way, hey hey hey hey hey hey.
When you find yourself in a sticky situation and you just have to drop everything and dance! You know they say: "Dance like nobody is watching you in the middle of civil warfare." That is what they say, right?
You know the feeling. When you are 100 percent sure that you are a mess and someone you love says you look great. Meanwhile, you have spinach in your teeth, your face is bloated from last night's alcohol and you forgot to wear deodorant. Lies... all lies...
You know you have to go home but you don't want to go home. One drink leads to two then three, then four. The cab comes and you can't find your phone or purse and you have to pee but you don't have time. You do, however, have time to chug the rest of your drink before you pull an Irish goodbye. Cheers!
If they didn't want you to come out with them and they went out behind your back, why would they post about it online? Idiots. Well, you'll show them by going to the same bar and accidentally running into them. That'll teach them... that you are crazy!
Do you get spooked every time you go to take a picture and it's accidentally on selfie mode? Yea, me too. Every time, without a doubt I think, "is that what I look like?" That can't be what we look like. Can it?
I'm broke and can't afford new shampoo so I am using old hotel samples. My socks all have holes in them. My friends suck and my boyfriend just broke up with me. My dog needs an $800 teeth cleaning... but I'm fine. No, really. I'm great!
This baby looks like a middle aged man. Well, I do think that babies and drunk old men have a lot in common. They are bald, they wobble when they walk and they can be really aggressive. Now if they come out talking about taxes and politics, you should worry.